Tips On How To Maintain Your Relationship During Quarantine
Due to the outbreak of COVID-19, the amount of physical human interaction has decreased, making virtual communication the new norm. The pandemic that has resulted in 12,064 deaths in the United States alone, as per the Centers for Disease and Control Prevention, has spiked an increase in the use of online dating apps and websites. A survey conducted by dating.com found that 82% of singles have turned to online dating during the coronavirus outbreak. According to eharmony.com, a well-known dating website, 40% of Americans use online dating and 20% of current committed relationships began online.
While maintaining a relationship through a screen might raise some concerns, it is still completely possible to keep your partner head over heels without having to see them in person. Whether you are away from your significant other or both under quarantine in the same home, here are some tips that will help keep things interesting while practicing social distancing.
“I started dating someone right before the pandemic outbreak. How will I be able to keep them interested if we can’t see each other in person?” —Anonymous Junior at SUNY New Paltz
Getting to know someone you just met can be a very difficult task, especially if you aren’t able to see them in person. Quarantine calls for one thing: Creativity. Hold off on the restaurant and museum date ideas for now and focus on what you have at your disposal -- Which is your brain and electronic device, of course. To keep the person you just started dating interested while getting to know them, virtual icebreakers and dates are able to compensate for the lack of in-person interaction.
Mindtools.com defines an icebreaker as an approach you can use to get conversation flowing and get rid of any shyness that might still exist between you and your crush. Two truths and a lie is a great example. For this icebreaker, you can prepare a list of three or more interesting facts about yourself, two of which must be false, and tell your partner to do the same. You both would then have to guess which interesting fact is true and which ones are lies. Simple games like these can go a long way in getting to know someone and establishing comfortability without having to be in-person. Other icebreaker ideas such as 21 questions can be found via your favorite search engine. Don’t be scared to give it a try!
Me and my partner are both quarantined together. What are some at-home date ideas?
An article by USA Today revealed that forty-three states accounting for about 95% of the U.S. population are under stay-at-home orders. Additionally, 6.6 million of Americans filed for unemployment benefits last week according to the United States Department of Labor. `What does this mean? If you are stuck at home, you are not alone. If you are stuck at home with your significant other, and have been since the outbreak of the coronavirus, you are still not alone. The hysteria behind the pandemic and anxiety of trying to stay healthy from Covid-19 can be very stressful. If there are kids in your picture, particularly, not being able to have a night out alone with your partner can definitely cause a lot of pressure. Kids or no kids, there are a few at-home date night ideas that can help you and your cinnamon apple relax and distract your minds.
“We’ve made a habit of making meals together everyday,” said New Paltz student Amayah Spence. “For example, she’ll make the eggs while I make the pancakes.” Spence and her partner have been living together at her partner’s home since her parents flew out to Florida to wait out the crisis a few weeks ago. Every night feels like date night.. “Every night we have dinner and watch a movie and sometimes include game night afterwards” Spence shared.
A great date night idea that you might have seen in many romance movies is a candlelit dinner. All that you would need are a few candles, a nice home-cooked meal for two and your best outfit. Dr. Racine Henry, marriage and family therapist, emphasises the psychotherapeutic benefits of cooking. “It’s the most universal way of expressing and receiving love” says Dr. Henry.
Movie night is also another idea you can never go wrong with. Streaming platforms such as Hulu, Netflix and Disney+ have a wide selection of movies to watch at affordable membership prices. For increased relaxation and self-care at home, grabbing your favorite face mask and setting up a bubble bath would make the perfect spa night. This date idea would be beneficial to both partners physically and mentally. To get circulation flowing and muscles pumping, having a workout date is also another idea that works well at home during quarantine. Gyms across the country have closed, but this is no excuse to be inactive. Grab your partner, put on a free, online workout video and get those summer bodies ready.
Having date night and spending time together is crucial in relationships, however one important thing to keep in mind is space. “We work separately for a period of time throughout the day,” said Spence. Licensed counselor Zubaidah Othman recommends “time-out” moments each day where you and your partner have time to do your own things and respect each other's individual space. Being together 24/7 can get highly overwhelming, so don’t be too clingy!
My partner did something I did not like and we got into an argument. How will we be able to resolve this virtually?
It would be nearly impossible for your partner not to get on your nerves, so when they do, it would be best to learn how to resolve conflict effectively. Sorting things out in person is easier said than done, but the question is how will these conflicts be resolved over a video call or text message? While a lot of people might prefer electronic communication because it is less direct, Wharton School of Business professionals point out that electronic communication may include miscommunication and misinterpretation of feelings and emotions. Body language and tone are rapidly visible and interpretable in person, yet not so much over a screen.
When resolving arguments virtually, you must carefully analyze and think about how you are going to react and what you are going to say before you do it. Conflict can be stretched online through a phenomenon known as the disinhibition effect. Psychologist Dr. John Suler explains it as being a “double-edged sword that gets people to do and say things in cyberspace that they wouldn’t ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world.” If your partner upsets you, it is best to step away from your electronic device for a few minutes before expressing your feelings. Don’t allow yourself to get carried away with words virtually. Amy Kipp, a couples and family therapist in San Antonio, affirms that when both partners are able to cool down and take breaks, they're usually able to “reach a resolution with more ease.”
When you have gathered your thoughts and feel ready to speak about what made you upset, tell your partner that you would like to speak and proceed to tell them what they did wrong. Expressing how you feel is never wrong as long as you are not being disrespectful or speaking in a tone of voice that might come off as aggressive. The following step would be to listen to what your partner has to say. They too have a right to share what they think and feel. The happiest relationships try to see the other side of the argument, Kipp says. She also affirms that being open to your partner’s side of the argument “decreases defensiveness and allows for a more productive conversation.” When both are done sharing, then it is your turn to vocalize what you want to gain out of the conflict and come to a common agreement with your partner on what is the best solution for the relationship.