Out of touch: Psychologists weigh in on how COVID-19 has impacted close relationships for emerging adults.

Emma focused her eyes on the window and willed the sun to rise in the sky. She needed a new beginning. While she waited for the first signs of morning Emma succumbed to the motionless air that weighed down on her chest. Her boyfriend, Sean, did not have air conditioning in his outdated off-campus apartment. A single fan recirculated the stale August air around the room. The only relief Emma had, however fleeting, was the cool breeze she felt on her legs when she thrashed beneath the sheets. The bed shifted with every move she made, waking Sean and prompting him to groggily drape his arm over her body, slick with sweat. She was suffocating. 

Emma, 20,  had never had a boyfriend before. When she met Sean, she just wanted something fun to break her streak of firsts and gush to her friends about. But Sean, a seasoned dater, had other plans. He told her he loved her just a month into dating. Was that normal? Emma had no clue. 

Emma’s fears in her relationship were not limited to the rapid acceleration of intimacy she experienced with Sean. There was another fear that lingered just beyond the four walls of his bedroom that continued to close in on Emma: COVID-19. The summer started with walks in the park and backyard hangouts. But as time went on, Emma said the couple started to “disobey the rules.” At first it was exciting, even exhilarating, to do something different and risky after months of monotony. But she couldn’t shake the lingering guilt that came with spending time maskless and indoors with her boyfriend who she had only started dating in March of 2020. Her parents never gave her pushback when it came to inviting Sean into their home, it was Emma who had her doubts. 

“At first it was great because we had each other to lean on,” said Emma. “We were in this little bubble which was really good for the first couple months and then it was too much. I just wanted to get out of there.”

Her heightened awareness and constant questioning of the what-ifs dulled the fun she expected from a first relationship. Sean’s loose interpretations of COVID restrictions drove a further wedge between them. He was willing to make exceptions to the rules when it came to spending with Emma while she struggled to do the same. She couldn’t keep up with the pace Sean set for their relationship and the pandemic made their differences hard to ignore. 

Emma’s experience is similar to many other young people on the edge of adulthood. The pandemic scattered them, plucking them from the life they created for themselves and placing them back into their childhood bedrooms. Some didn’t even have the company of their family and were further isolated in lonely apartments. COVID restrictions made tending to this loneliness even more difficult, as the prospect of meeting new people shifted almost exclusively online. Couples that never signed up for long distance dating endured weeks, even months apart no matter how far they lived from each other. Those who were without a partner once social isolation began faced another slew of challenges: How could you date, when a date might kill you? 

Isolation in the absence of a typical dating life and separation from friends although necessary in slowing the spread of COVID-19, has become challenging for those with mental health conditions according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Concerns relating to mental health are especially relevant for those ages 18-29 who make up the highest percent of adults with symptoms of depression and anxiety, according to the CDC. Maintaining human connection through close relationships has become a crucial part of our survival during COVID. 

“We are hardwired for what's called the need to belong, the need to be around other people,” said Richard Slatcher, a professor of social psychology and researcher of relationships at the University of Georgia. “If you've ever seen the movie, ‘Cast Away’ with Tom Hanks shipwrecked on an island, he forms a friendship with a volleyball called Wilson. That's a good demonstration of this effect in the absence of social relationships.”

The human need to connect—it’s a matter of survival 

Karla Vermeulen, associate professor in the State University of New York at New Paltz psychology department and deputy director of the Institute for Disaster Mental Health, has been conducting research for her upcoming book on what she calls “generation disaster.” She is investigating how emerging adults have been affected by stressors related to coming of age in a post-9/11 world. Experiences with the pandemic, according to Vermeulen, deviate from the typical timeline of coping with disasters since there is still no clear end in sight. Our nervous systems are not equipped to cope with such prolonged exposure to a threat that could trigger a fight or flight response.

“The best source of comfort and support for people is social connection,” said Vermeulen. “And the fact that [socialization] has been shut down or severely restricted during the pandemic just completely exacerbates what was already difficult for many young people to begin with.”

In a survey she conducted among young adults, over 92 percent of respondents reported restricted socialization with friends and over 76 percent reported restricted time spent with family. In effort to remedy the need for socialization which has been restricted by the pandemic, technology was used as a lifeline with varying success. Social psychologist, Richard Slatcher worked extensively on the topic of social connections through the global research project, “Love in the Time of COVID.” He found that technology alone may not be enough to connect people the same way in-person interactions do, but it has helped many people stave off depression linked to isolation. His research suggests that video chatting with friends and family predicts greater well-being, lower loneliness, greater happiness with life and lower rates of depression.

“I can’t put my entire personality into a text message.”

— Sebastian, 21

Such a positive experience was true for Emma at first —she was elated when familiar faces filled her screen after not seeing them in person for months. But the excitement wore off quickly after the call ended because she was painfully reminded of what she and her friends were missing out on. When students were sent home for extended school breaks, Emma moved back home with her parents on Long Island,. She missed her independence but most of all, she missed her friends. 

Caitlin, Emma’s roommate and close friend, felt a similar void when reflecting on the time she spent in her central Connecticut home. She was completely isolated from her New York college friends. 

“On FaceTime, it's not the same as sleeping five feet from each other. If you can't sleep, you can’t roll over and ask if they’re still up,” said Caitlin. “We would talk for hours and eventually somehow fall back asleep. It’s just a different dynamic.” 

Still, the two made the best of the situation and would spend their days in isolation watching shows like “High School Musical: The Musical: The Series” by pressing play simultaneously through FaceTime. Emma often vented about her relationship with Sean to Caitlin, rattling off the list of all of the things that he did—big and small—that got under her skin. Even though Caitlin and Emma were no longer living a dresser and a mini fridge length away from each other, they never lost touch. 

When Caitlin returned to New York for the fall semester at SUNY New Paltz, she was welcomed to the common area in her suite bustling with life and piles of clothes. She was never so glad to see such a mess. It meant her friends were back. Certain COVID protocols prevented their parents from helping them move back in, which made Caitlin curious about who the woman standing in her doorway was. After spending so many months apart, she almost didn’t recognize her own roommate. 

“Emma has overcome a lot this year and I’m super proud of her for getting through it even with a global pandemic happening on top of all of it,” said Caitlin. “I could not have been more excited to see her—I probably could have cried. When we went to bed, I rolled over and saw her there and I was so relieved to know that we were getting back to something better than what it had been.”

Soon after Emma moved back to campus, she decided that it was time to sever her ties with Sean. Caitlin comforted her when she returned to the dorm, eyes spilling over with tears following the breakup. Later that fall, Emma sat down with Caitlin and told her that she identified as bisexual. Caitlin, who also identifies as bisexual, could not have been more excited for Emma. Relationship psychotherapist, Silva Neves, said that Emma’s experience was something she had in common with many others in this past year. 

“We say that lockdown was negative but it was actually positive for a lot of people in a way that people felt more safe and secure in some ways from their home to show more of themselves, “ said Neves. “There’s also the sense of you know ‘I don't want to waste more time of my precious life to live a lie or to pretend.’ ” 

Emma’s evolution, including her breakup with Sean and embracing her sexuality, led her to lean on friendships without much interest in dating during the pandemic. And she is not alone. According to social psychologist Richard Slatcher, who surveyed 5,000 people from 57 different countries, most people who were single during the pandemic have diverted their focus away from dating and instead have strengthened family bonds and friendships. Sebastian, a 21-year-old resident of Brewster, New York, leaned on friendships more heavily this past year and feels grateful for how technology has allowed him to stay in touch with them. The small group of people Sebastian considers his ‘bubble’ that he has seen in person have fostered stronger bonds than ever before. But overall, an exclusively online connection is not the same and perhaps not enough.

Sebastian described the one avenue he has for meeting someone romantically, Tinder, with all the passion he’d have of buying toilet paper on Amazon. “I absolutely despise having to create a relationship out of thin air from two people swiping on each other's faces,” he said. “When you are in person and you sit there and you have a conversation with each other, looking each other in the eyes, you understand them a lot better than just texting them. I can't put my entire personality into a text message. So I've shied away from any sort of love connection during this quarantine.”

Young adults pushed into adulthood too soon

Sebastian lives at home with his older brother and three family members who fall into the at-risk category for COVID-19. His father has smoked since he was 11 years old, which caused him to develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), his father’s diagnosis puts him at an increased risk for severe illness if he were to contract COVID-19. Sebastian also lives with his mother, who is 60, and his grandmother, who is 93. The CDC also reported that risk factors seem to correlate with age, with those who are 85 and older to be most at risk. Since Sebastian works at a tile showroom in Bedford, New York, he was not only concerned with who he chose to socialize with in his free time, but it was an added stress that he could contract the virus from customers. 

COVID may be accelerating the timeline for when children begin to tend to their parents' well-being after a lifetime of the reverse. Typically this transition happens much later in life, when emerging adults become adults and adults become elderly. But since the risk of hospitalization or even death due to the virus correlates with age, young people are faced with putting part of their mental well-being aside for the protection of their parents or grandparents’ physical well-being—their life. Such a constant reminder of looming death, according to relationship psychotherapist Silva Neves, is leading to an existential crisis among young adults and heightened anxiety regarding the safety of their loved ones. The act of moving back home and being physically responsible for parents or grandparents or just worrying about them from a distance, withholding from seeing them for their protection, also can impact the typical developmental cycle for this age group.

“Usually emerging adulthood is a time where they separate from their parents, start new relationships, new and exciting careers, and it's all about them,” said Neves. “Suddenly, now it's becoming a period of time where people are actively thinking about their parents, and they are wanting to listen to them and take care of them.”

Sebastian, 21, engaging in a few of his greatest in the last year which include kayaking and skiing. Hung on his wall in the photo of his room (top middle) is a quote printed onto silk that reads, “Love. An inspired form of giving, love breathes life into the heart and brings grace to the soul.”

According to Neves, such a change in the developmental cycle for young people could lead to a pattern of delayed separation between adults and their children in the years to come. The full extent of this shift in responsibilities is largely unknown. Still, Neves is optimistic about the identity exploration phase in life for young people since as seen in Emma’s case of evolution, the circumstances of the pandemic have allowed for identity exploration in new ways. 

The road to healing

When Marlee, 24, first moved into her off-campus home in New Paltz, New York, she requested the smallest room because she knew how little time she would spend in it. She loved to be out and about, thriving off the energy of her friends and anyone she met along the way. But when COVID-19 hit, she found herself stuck in Albany, New York, nearly alone. She didn't miss dating especially, but she had difficulty coping with the absence of social gatherings. 

“I definitely was drinking a lot. And I was drinking alone. I feel like it was kind of romanticized to drink by noon because ‘It doesn't matter in quarantine.’ But it's actually sad because I'm alone, and I'm blacked out on a Tuesday for no reason,” Marlee said. 

Even when a deadly virus was killing millions, the liquor store doors stayed open. Nielsen, a global marketing research firm, reported that as of the week of March 21, 2020, there was a 54 percent increase in national alcohol sales compared to the same time in 2019, with a 262 percent increase in online sales. Such a major spike in alcohol consumption could worsen physical and mental health and increase risk taking behaviors and violence,  according to the World Health Organization.

Marlee began to notice that she was only capable of being emotionally vulnerable when she was drinking. She knew she couldn’t sustain relationships without being able to express her feelings while sober. So, she began the journey to recovery. Marlee sought virtual professional help to find better ways to cope with these periods of isolation. She immersed herself in hobbies like experimenting with makeup and creating jewelry. She rekindled friendships and maintained existing, close friendships regardless of physical distance. The friendships that have endured the obstacles the pandemic has presented created a new sense of platonic intimacy between her and her friends.

“All of this has made us have to look at ourselves and who's important to us and who we want to keep around us,” Marlee said. “At this point I feel completely different than I did at the beginning of all this. Obviously COVID is horrible, but personally I think that who I am now is a million times better— at least emotionally.”

Although isolation proved to be a major challenge for Marlee, she ultimately used the last year as a period of exploration resulting in emotional growth. 

Micah, 23, experienced similar growth while working at a hospital during the pandemic. She would arrive at New York-Presbyterian Hospital as early as 7 a.m., draped in a medical gown, two, sometimes three pairs of gloves and a face shield with an N95 mask for extra protection. But Micah was not a medical professional. She was a college student working part time as a medical records clerk, hoping to chip away at her $200,000 in college debt. 

“It was mentally draining,” Micah sighed. “I watched people come in who were barely able to say their names. I saw people I would probably never see again. They might not have even lived after they left that tent.”

During her nine months working at the hospital, Micah was face-to-face with what most people only saw from a screen in their homes. She experienced a period of growth that was not shared with her boyfriend of two years, Steven, 24, who lost his job as a mover leading up to the pandemic. The personal development that freed Marlee resulted in a strain on Micah and Steven’s relationship, changing their dynamic and pulling them further apart. But they couldn’t stray too far from each other since Micah lived with Steven in his dad’s home in Brewster, New York.

“It was a decent sized room but we were right next to each other 24/7,” said Steven. “There was no space for ‘me time’ for either of us.” 

Micah would often return from a shift at the hospital, burnt out and emotionally drained, to find Steven in the same spot she left him. Steven expressed difficulty with filling his idle time while he was out of work and said video games served as a coping mechanism. 

Micah experienced personal growth when she endured the pandemic on the front lines, which was very different from Steven’s experience. Relationship counsellor, Silva Neves, said that the source of her growth and for many essential or frontline workers at this time, is trauma.

“Sometimes being traumatized is really the opportunity for us to grow because we have a drastically different way of seeing life,” said Neves. “And when you see somebody who's not changing and doing nothing to do all day long, they're actually not growing, but they're also regressing. So then the gap gets so much bigger.”

The turning point came when Steven found a new job, which relieved the financial strain that had been a source of the stress for the couple. Micah and Steven also restored the space to establish themselves outside of the relationship once they were both working. Renewing the foundation of their relationship became important when Micah was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in November of 2020.  Her diagnosis came as a shock since her visit with the neurologist a month prior was to get different migraine medication. The doctor explained that there was a white spot on her brain and they would have to do a spinal tap. She was terrified. To make matters worse, Micah was alone. Her parents were not allowed into the doctor's office due to COVID protocol. Eventually she went to New York City to receive another MRI and was diagnosed with MS over a Zoom call.

“My whole perspective of life changed because if they didn't diagnose it, I could potentially have started losing mobility. I could have lost my ability to walk and talk,” Micah said.

According to the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America, a person with MS has a malfunctioning immune system and is an autoimmune disease that could have caused more severe symptoms of COVID-19 for Micah. Fortunately, when she did contract COVID-19 in February, she had relatively mild symptoms. 

But when the couple found out that Micah had MS, they faced it together and made adjustments to their lifestyle, including practicing an abundance of precaution in terms of COVID and even exploring the possibility of having children earlier due to her diagnosis. Steven was no longer unemployed, which allowed both partners to experience self-expansion and gain self-confidence, resulting in higher relationship satisfaction. 

Tabitha Holmes, associate professor and director of the graduate program in psychological science at SUNY New Paltz, described what this experience could mean in general when considered in the context of typical development in emerging adults. 

“As a psychologist I fall into the pattern of focusing on the risk factors more than the protective and positive factors. In terms of identity exploration so many people have tried different hobbies and found passions that they didn't know that they had.” said Holmes. “We lived in such a chaotic world. For some people it was an absolute gift, being able to have that kind of quiet and time to figure out what you care about to figure out who you are.”

What happens next?

The pandemic has infiltrated every aspect of our lives to varying degrees. We dream of normal times with our hearts racing at the smallest taste of life before COVID. The truth is, it might be a while until normalcy is restored. And even when words like ‘quarantine’ and ‘vaccine’ are part of the past, there is no way of predicting the residual damage of the pandemic. What comes next once resocialization is in full force is unknown. But the story of how young people love during the pandemic remains a story of resilience. This time of isolation has proved the importance of strong social connection as an integral part of a healthy life. Although technology has helped connect people near and far, nothing will compare to when we can embrace loved ones bare faced with open arms once again. 

Social psychologist Richard Slatcher, is unsure of how the close bonds outside of romantic relationships will fare once the bustle of our everyday lives is fully restored. He believes that slow vaccine rollout might help to guide young people into the dating scene once again. There might be some anxiety at first as we begin to expand who we socialize with but he is optimistic. The best advice he can offer? Get vaccinated. The sooner this happens, he said, the sooner young people can get back to dating and socializing freely.

Psychology professor Karla Vermeulen says  some emerging adults in her survey indicated they feel “cheated,” missing out on college experiences they would have otherwise had and trying to enter a job market that doesn’t look anything like the one they’d expected. 

“For emerging adults, you're just on the cusp of really coming into your own” she said. “And then not be able to pursue all those typical developmental milestones, including the fun stuff, it’s understandably really frustrating.”

Her advice for young people feeling like they’ve missed out on their best years is to have patience. It may seem like the end of the world when you find yourself in the middle of a disaster, but society eventually finds a way to heal and to stabilize. 

“I think this will make [young people] stronger—make them appreciate certain parts of life more. I mean, what's it gonna be like to be in a restaurant again or a bar again or going to a movie theater again or just being with family again?” said Vermeulen. “I really hope this will give us some appreciation of what we took for granted before.”

Relationship counselor Silva Neves is hopeful for how young people will pave the way for generations to come. Perhaps more of them will find themselves in the commitment phase of exploration, possibly more confident in their identity. Maybe some will continue to expand their search for love by using more online dating platforms while others rush back to the old-fashioned way of dating. But for certain, people of all ages are going to need time to grieve for who and what was lost during the pandemic. And what comes next will be up to us. 

“Nobody talks about going back to normal now because I don't think there's any going back,” said Neves. “But the new world will also have different opportunities and the young people now will be the first generation to pave the way for how to navigate this new world.”

The Current State of Black Lives Matter Ithaca

Ithaca has commonly been referred to as ten square miles surrounded by reality, because of the general belief that nothing particularly interesting happens in the small liberal town. Recent events seem to have shaken this belief somewhat, with the COVID-19 response being criticized, new housing developments displacing many local residents and now the violence streets, protests have seen an uptick in recent months. 

Massia White-Saunders, 20, has spent his whole life seeking justice, or at least as far back as he can remember. At an early age he learned that he would be disadvantaged in this country just by the matter of his birth. He grew up surrounded by rhetoric of a post-racial society where everyone would be treated equally. “I wanted so badly to believe it,” he admitted, “but eventually I realized it wasn’t true”. Even in the supposedly liberal bastion of Ithaca, home to Cornell and Ithaca College, he’s seen family and friends abused by the police and sheriffs. He witnessed the flawed welfare policies utterly fail to raise people from poverty. And yet it all became that much more real when he was arrested without even a being told what crime he had committed.

“The whole time I was just thinking ‘Seriously? Am I actually getting arrested for this?’” White-Saunders said. On October 14th, White-Saunders got into an altercation with a Trump supporter at a Back the Blue rally. “He just kept saying ‘fuck off,’ and ‘go die’ so I approached him. And he pulls a knife on me. The police were around, protecting the Trump crowd and they come over and, I mean the video shows the rest.”

The video in question shows several police officers watching White-Saunders get handcuffed, forced into a squad car by Vincent Monticello, the senior deputy chief of operations at the Ithaca Police Department (IPD). White-Saunders was not read his Miranda Rights nor was  he told what he was being arrested for until he was already in the car. “That Vinny motherfuckers gotta go man,” White-Saunders said when we caught up recently.

White-Saunders’s arrest sparked protests for the next few days, local BLM activists and organizers demanding his release and the resignation of Vincent Monticello and the Chief of Police, Dennis Nayor. Some members of the local DSA (Democratic Socialists of America) and Ithaca Pantheras have demanded that the whole department be shut down and the money distributed directly to tenants as well as service and social workers. 

Sunday protests have been held almost every week since the arrest of White-Saunders and the subsequent police violence have turned from national issues to focusing primarily on more local problems. A small crowd gathers outside the police station every weekend to demand the resignation of the IPD’s administration and plead with all the police officers to also resign. The protestors shout chants like “How do you spell racist. V.I.N.N.Y!” and “Fund the community!” One speaker at the November 22nd protest ended their speech about the progress of the local movement with “The cops say they’re afraid to use excessive force because everyone is watching, good! They want to retire because we’re out here every week screaming at them, fucking good!” White-Saunders put it another way, “I really don’t think it’s that hard to be on the right side of history. All they gotta do is quit their job.” 

The main entrance to the police department after the November 22nd protest.

Though the number of protestors has dwindled from the hundreds that came out in the summer to a relatively small, multi-racial group of dedicated demonstrators, most see it as simply a matter of course. With the weather growing colder every week, it isn’t surprising that less people are willing to stand outside for hours on a Sunday. “At least some of us need to keep on diligently coming, so they keep on diligently quitting,” said an organizer at the end of November 22nd’s protest. It seems that the protests have been whittled down to the core group of veterans and passionate youngsters, and although they might be causing less of a spectacle the changes comes with organizational advantages. People often bring snacks and water bottles to share with those in need and plans for a community clothing exchange to get hats in coats to people so they can keep coming even when Ithaca is buried in snow. “With enough planning and heart I think we’ll be able to make it through the winter, but only time will tell,” one organizer said. That cautious optimism seemed to be the dominant feeling at most of the protests.

Joy Banford, 21, is one of these dedicated few who was radicalized by the recent events of police brutality, both nationally and locally. Like most white Ithaca natives, Banford has been raised to believe in the messages of social justice, but also that Ithaca had mostly figured that stuff out. “I realized that Ithaca’s mythology didn’t match its reality. That’s why I’m here,” she said, referring to the BLM protest on November 29th. Although Banford participated in several protests after the muder of George Floyd she didn’t start coming to the weekly protest until the arrest of White-Saunders. “Seeing the video was a turning point for me. It really jolted me to do something. Made me feel complicit, because I am!” Banford hopes that other white Ithacans will have the same “revelations” that she had and start to examine their own behavior, privilege and complicity in systems of racial oppression.

View overlooking Cornell University Campus

Besides the façade of liberalism, there is another large barrier in the way of local activists: the Universities. “Cornell students are mostly privileged and comfortable. They don’t care about us,” said a veteran community organizer who wants to remain unnamed for safety reasons. “And the universities themselves don’t want any change if they can help it,” she continued. “They’re corporations so they want a heavy police presence to keep it that way.” When I asked her what she meant by that “The way I see it capitalism doesn’t work without state controlled force and if Cornell stands for one thing it's capitalism.” Similar critiques of the universities, especially Cornell, have been levied for years in regards to their support for gentrification and their perceived hand in Ithaca’s rising cost of living. Another protest had this to say “They can either be a part of the community or they can get out. None of this halfway bullshit.” 

Another factor that might be contributing to the local conflict is that a majority of the officers currently employed by the City of Ithaca do not live within the city limits, instead commuting from other places in Tompkins County. The difference between Ithaca and much of the rest of Tompkins County is quite stark. A simple drive out of the city illustrates that perfectly. The BLM murals and banners taped to windows and are gradually replaced by Trump flags and road-side signs the farther you get from downtown. “I mean how are they going to police a community they don’t even live in?” White-Saunders said. Both he and other organizers have made the assertion that police should have to live in the community they are responsible for policing. Local organizations like Ithaca Pantheras, think that either way the police still remain a fundamentally corrupt institution so focusing on fixing that particular problem is largely pointless. Instead advocating for a more fundamental change.

“Defund the police” is a slogan used by many organizers as a banner for policies that shift government spending away from police departments to welfare, social safety nets and social workers. Proponents of this line of thinking, assert that the best way to reduce crime is to reduce poverty. Studies have shown that violent and property crime both fall drastically. Supporters of “defund the police” also point to the low crime rates of countries which spend more on welfare than law enforcement as working examples of this model.

Ithaca Council members have proposed a plan for the 2021 budget that would cut the police budget substantially over the course of the next couple years. This refinancing would reallocate half of the money to the Tompkins County Sheriff’s Department and the other half to Tompkins County-Department of Social Services (DSS) and to fund future programs that could help alleviate hunger and homeless in the county. No set bill or policy proposal has been revealed yet and will likely not be until the end of December but Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick appears to be bending under the pressure. Back in October he had already proposed cutting funding for eight police officer positions, but many expect that this was purely for financial reasons. 

Svante Myrick, Mayor of Ithaca, NY, from NBC News 2016

One protestor I interviewed at the most recent Sunday protest expressed serious doubts about the mayor’s commitment to social justice. “I think he’s just waiting. Waiting to see if people stop protesting for the winter. Hoping that enough people stop paying attention so he can cut things other than the police.” Another protestor had a slightly more humorous take on the mayor. “His tendency to uncritically repost everything Joe Biden tweets it a little unnerving.” When I asked why, she said. “I just think it's weird to be in love with one of the Drug War’s architects.” 

Life without the Green Ocean

Perfect weather on the last day of August. The first game of the season is at New Paltz as you look forward to facing The College of Saint Rose. The bright colors of the twenty-two player's uniforms out on the vast green ocean of freedom playing. It is great to be back playing soccer. Your team is tied at 2-2 at the half . At this point in the match, you start to grow uncertain about going onto the field let alone making the final roster. Coach Clancy calls your number and it's your time to play in the game. Your teammates and fans start cheering you on as you enter and start pushing up into the other team’s side of the field. After the game Coach Clancy congratulated you as you made the final roster and now all the nerves went away. But the following week COVID strikes campus and all sports are cancelled. 

From the adrenaline rush of playing your next opponent to not knowing when or if sports would return again, this may have been the last organized game you’ll ever play.

Media Day 2019: Carlos Cuellar pictured by the Athletic Communications Office.

Carlos Cuellar was a soccer star in SUNY Ulster before transferring to SUNY New Paltz. “The competition was different and tougher. Coach switched my position on the field and I was uncertain that I was going to make the final roster,” said Cuellar. Not only did he overcome the challenge of making the New Paltz roster but he also had to overcome challenges off the field.

Early mornings, late nights, countless hours of training, and now perhaps nothing to show for it. Cuellar woke up before sunrise to go for runs. He sacrificed school work to perfect his craft and his grades sunk. Like Cuellar, for SUNY New Paltz’s 294 student-athletes many of them will not have the chance to step out on the field one last time.

For many student-athletes and coaches, sports have impacted their lives in a variety of ways. The reason why student-athletes play and coaches coach is because they want to compete at a high level, stay active, and build new bonds. Due to this pandemic, they are not allowed to play the sports they love. Sports were an escape from the real world.

“According to the Washington Post,” the list of colleges that have either cancelled their season or cut these programs completely due to the pandemic has passed 230 and counting. As of October 2020, the NCAA announced that they have granted all Division I-Division III level fall and winter athletes an extra year of eligibility whether they compete in the 2020-2021 season or not.

Traditionally, a student-athlete has five years to play four years of their sport. Since the pandemic ruined sports and cancelled all seasons, now an athlete has six years to play four years of their sport.

Despite the extension granted by the NCAA, the early mornings, late nights, and countless hours of training Cuellar made the difficult decision to quit sports. “I want to focus on my academic career,” Cuellar sighed. “COVID has ruined my competitive drive and I learned to accept that.”

Not only has the cancellation of sports been devastating for student-athletes but coaches as well.

Picture of Coach Kyle Clancy taken by Athletics Communications Office

Coach Kyle Clancy has been a part of building and developing the New Paltz soccer team for five seasons. In his first four seasons, he has led the program to two SUNYAC playoff appearances including the first home semifinal appearance in the program’s history in 2018.

Coach Clancy was hopeful to lead the roster to another SUNYAC playoff appearance but the pandemic ruined the plans. “The athletic director gathered all the coaches via a zoom call and it was announced officially that the Fall 2020 season was cancelled”, said Coach Clancy. “It was a huge letdown especially for the athletes representing our school since they come here for many different reasons.”

Over the summer Coach kept in touch with all of his players by hosting virtual lifting sessions with the strength coach, video analysis and virtual game night where the team played games like skribbl where players draw and guess words with other players.

“My goal over the summer was to keep that togetherness, keep the group connected as much as possible.” 

Even before the semester Coach Clancy wanted to set goals to develop his roster in areas such as academically, athletically, and mentally. He wanted to find ways to develop his roster on and off the field.

New Paltz’s Men soccer tourney. Pictured in center of frame is F Carlos Cuellar taken by Monica D’lppolito

In September, the administration allowed the team to hold practice. “We were appreciative of the university for letting us do that because some schools in our conference weren’t able to.” From September 15 to November 20th the team was able to hold practices three days a week and for the last month they were able to host a tournament for the team in groups of 5. “We treated this as an actual tournament. We kept track of stats, wins and losses,” said Coach Clancy. “We wanted to create a high level of competition. We want our guys to be the best version of themselves and to strive to be the best team.”

One area of college sports that coaches get high praise for is recruiting but with COVID, the recruiting process is made more difficult than ever.

“Tournaments are going on all year round. We were always going somewhere to watch games to build a pool of players to recruit.” However teams started to record games and Coach Clancy would sit on his computer, request and watch games from potential recruits to see how consistent the player was and what type of impact they would have on the New Paltz roster. 

Another challenging part of recruiting was the dead period. NCAA Division One established a dead period where coaches cannot go out and recruit in person and they can't make face to face contact with recruits. Coach Clancy stated that New Paltz recruits fringe division one or division two players but the issue is that these athletes have to wait for responses longer than usual from D-I schools to see if they make the roster or not.

Since the NCAA gave four-year athletes an extra year of eligibility, Coach Clancy mentioned that roster management is going to be a challenge for the next four years. “Our school has a recruiting budget, but with the new rules in place we aren't quite sure about how many players we can have on a roster.”

While the roster situation is unknown Coach has his sights on next season.

“We fully believe we're going to be sitting in camps and it has been a long time since this program won a college championship.”

Jonathan Tola (center) pushing the ball upfield during the soccer tourney. Picture taken by Monica D’lppolito

While the season got cancelled, third-year player Jonathan Tola decided to devote his time to creating a club.

Jonathan Tola is one of Cuellar’s teammates and plays right back defender. His role is to deny the attacker the opportunity to turn and attack the defense if he receives the ball.

Tola got recruited to join the NP roster at the end of his junior year at Herbert H. Lehman high school in Bronx, NY. Despite making the team Tola had a major setback before his first season at NP. 

It was the dog days of August where Tola was practicing with the New Paltz soccer team. Being recruited to the squad and wanting to make an impact Tola was striving to be great but from all the bumps from slide tackling and shielding from other players he knew something felt off on his right knee. Turns out Tola tore off his knee cartilage and was declared out for his freshman season. 

Coming off a rigorous rehab and playing the following season Tola was looking forward to competing in the 2020 season at New Paltz. Since the season was cancelled he decided to dedicate his time to start a club for New Paltz Athletes of Color (NPAC). “The most difficult part in creating this was to get people invested in it,” he said. Tola hopes that NPAC will gain more traction especially if sports return to New Paltz next year.

Giving up on sports is one of the most difficult decisions Cuellar has made in his life but in the past, Cuellar faced and overcame greater challenges.

Cuellar and his family moved to the United States back in 2012. Like many immigrants, Cuellar’s first challenge was learning a new language. “When I came I didn't speak any English. It was difficult because I didn’t know what teachers or coaches were saying. Once I learned English it felt great since I understood what was happening and what was being said.”

Even an essential commodity such as transportation was challenging during the early years for Cuellar. “We had to use buses, taxis,” said Cuellar, “sometimes after practice was over I would have to walk from school all the way home.” 

Despite the heartbreak with the sport he adored, Cuellar found a new purpose. Sending aid back to Honduras.

Cuellar and the soccer team helped in the relief efforts from Hurricane Iota’s destruction in Central America especially in his home country of Honduras. Cuellar asked SUNY New Paltz students, faculty, staff, and the entire community to donate clothes and other essential items that he will ship to Honduras to help people in need.

“The relief efforts went well. We received about 30 boxes of clothes and food,” said Cuellar. He never expected the relief efforts to get the attention it received. “I imagined it to be similar to a small food drive but my teammates thought it would be a great idea for it to be something big. Word got to Coach Clancy and then he made it happen.”

The Catskills Are Always Back

On March 25, 2020, three days after Governor Andrew Cuomo declared a lockdown in New York City due to the increasing number of COVID-19 cases, the New York Times ran a story by Tracey Tully and Stacey Stowe headlined, The Wealthy Flee Coronavirus. It was an attempt by the writers to impart the sense of panic that was quietly brewing within the city that never sleeps. It seemed that the rich would be the first to escape to their weekend homes during the pandemic. And where would they go? The Catskills of course (among other nearby regions), which was also where the first anecdote in their article took place. 

Though considerably small (it was a blip in the New York section of the paper), it seemed that Tully and Stowe’s essay would become the impetus to more than a dozen stories by the New York Times shortly after; and a recurring theme would present itself in every one of these articles: the notion that the Catskills are back. 

As a restaurant owner and full-time resident based in the Catskills, my personal experience has proved otherwise. Sure, New Yorkers are heading upstate, they’ve been doing so for the past decade or more; but from what I’ve experienced these past few months is that the numbers for my own businesses (I own three restaurants throughout the region) weren’t adding up to a narrative of a “boom,” but rather, the sales figures this year so far, felt much more like a fizzle. This was one side of the story I hadn’t read, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe the media elite were force feeding us all a manufactured reality. 

“The Catskills are always back,” Ed Justus, a former New York City resident, said with a laugh. Justus, who moved upstate “decades ago,” is a long time resident of Jeffersonville, NY, a small village located in the Western Catskills, population 338, that has seen better days. He tells me that he was also the mayor here for several years. “I was in charge of organizing the TLC people from that show, ‘Town Haul,’ back in 2005,” he said. 

We are sitting at a distance in the public-facing section of his haphazardly organized tire shop located on Main Street in Jeffersonville. Justus prefers not to reveal his age, but by my guess, he is probably in his late 50s and has an easy going demeanor. His face is slightly round, particularly his nose and cheeks—though it’s barely noticeable because his crimson-colored goatee takes over. He is wearing a frayed blue cap and a well-worn, matching uniform inked with tire and oil stains. His eyes are intense, like mafia intense, and he still has a strong NYC accent. 

According to the former mayor, the Catskills have always had its ups and downs. “People came up here after 9-11; then they came again after Hurricane Sandy. Now they’re up here again. Nothing’s changed,” he said. But maybe things are different this time. Perhaps the Catskills are really back because of the effects of gentrification throughout the years due to the resurgence of second-home owners, the ability for professionals to work remotely from home, and also because of the pandemic, I proposed to him. Justus ponders this for a moment and admits that he has been extremely busy at the shop, “You know, I hope so. That would be nice,” he said. 

He has good reason to be hopeful. As specified by a real estate market report conducted by One Key MLS, the value of homes within the Sullivan West school district, which includes the town of Jeffersonville, has skyrocketed since COVID-19. As of November 2020, residential property prices in the area have spiked by a whopping 33%. A home in Jeffersonville, once valued at $150,000 in 2019, is now worth nearly $200,000 in a pandemic-driven market; these numbers clearly point to the massive interest and competition of home sales caused by new buyers and residents entering the market.  

“Enrollment has gone way up,” said Nisha Gupta, a teacher who runs a nearby school alongside Headmaster and husband, Jack Comstock. She adds, “We’re completely full at the moment with a waiting list due to all the New York City folks moving this way.” The Homestead School, a private Montessori school located in Glen Spey, NY, is the only institution of its kind in the lower Western region of the Catskills, that serves students as young as pre-k all the way through 8th grade. Tuition at the school ranges between $450 to $1,045 a month, depending on the grade level. And although considered “very affordable” for Manhattan and Brooklynites, the costs associated with attending the private school has been a subject of contention for some local parents. One mother, who moved up to the area from NYC approximately ten years ago, and lives in the Sullivan West school district, admitted that she had always wanted to send her kids to the Homestead school, but complained that the costs associated were way too high and out of her budget. (She wished to remain anonymous for this story.)

About an hour north of Glen Spey, in a quaint college town near Delhi, NY, population 4,842, Esther de Jong, a former model turned full-time mother, artist, and successful real estate agent for one of the largest real estate firms in the region, Timberland Properties, is tidying up her house. Like the recent transplants to the Catskills, de Jong decided to firmly plant roots upstate nearly ten years ago in search of space and peace of mind. “It was 2006 and I was pregnant with my daughter. Only once did I lug all my paints to Central Park to study landscape painting before I realized I couldn’t bear the city,” she said. 

By 2010, shortly after the Great Recession, and for the sake of her sanity and artistic endeavors, de Jong and her family relocated to the Catskills permanently, setting up a large art studio for herself and her husband, also a painter, in their newly purchased home. When I spoke with her on a rainy Sunday evening over the phone, she told me that she has been cleaning and reorganizing all day. “I’m building a bed frame for a bedroom that we’re renovating. We’re not leaving our house these days, so we’re just trying to make it extra cozy. I think that’s what we’re all focused on right now,” she said.

Indeed, even in my own experience, it does seem as though most of my friends who are living up here are investing more in their living quarters. My friend, a shopkeeper named Ninze Chen, I tell de Jong, owns a very chic, mid-century modern furniture and home goods store called Long Weekend, in Livingston Manor, NY. She is always telling me how busy she is and that, “since June, sales have increased by 250%!” De Jong quickly agrees. “Local businesses that cater to the home are doing really well. My local contractors are always busy,” she said. “Everyone in real estate right now is having the best year of their career.” 

For sure, it would seem that the influx of new home buyers and residents in the Catskills, driven by the Coronavirus, has bolstered the local economy. Monthly year-over-year changes in local sales tax collections from businesses in New York State indicate a considerable jump in the third quarter in counties outside of NYC. In September 2020, at the tail end of summer, sales tax collections reported by New York State of the local businesses outside of the NYC area, leapt by 19% from a deficit of -8.2% the previous month. Whereas the sales tax collections in NYC dropped by a massive -44%. These contrasting figures do illustrate the potential legitimacy of a mass exodus of NYC residents who are indeed, “escaping” to other regions in the state.  

Additionally, sales tax records from local counties upstate for the third quarter indicate a similar narrative. In the Mid-Hudson region, sales tax collections improved overall by 3.6%.  However, like the Coronavirus, growth in the region has been selective, with only the wealthiest counties that already have in place a vibrant cultural center, accessibility to public transportation, and is ripe for commercial expansion, as the winners. Rockland and Putnam counties hold this title; whereas, Sullivan County, with its lack of public transportation, and Orange County, with its un-idyllic landscape — a “big-box store epicenter” — are the losers.  

But fiscal selectivity doesn’t stop there. According to a monthly year-over-year report by statista.com on the development in retail sales in the U.S. from 2019 and 2020, the industries that have seen the most growth during the pandemic have been those mainly catering to the home: online stores, grocery and beverage stores, and building materials and garden supply stores. Unsurprisingly, the industries hit the hardest during the pandemic are clothing stores and electronics and appliances. Moreover, in an environment where the public are either too afraid to go out because of the possible exposure to COVID-19 or because the government mandated quarantines, another industry, unmentioned in this report, has experienced a similar decline.  

Marla Puccetti, who co-owns the Heron Restaurant, with her husband and chef Paul Nanni, moved upstate from New York City nearly ten years ago, and had a dream to run their own restaurant. Shortly after, their dream came true after securing a main street storefront in the quaint but trendy town of Narrowsburg, NY, population 338. Considered “the Balthazar” of Sullivan County, the Heron is known for its first-rate quality in food and service, and known by the locals as the place to people-watch. It was also voted year after year, ‘The Best Restaurant’ by readers in “The River Reporter.” Yet, while other businesses in the region boasted the highest sales growth ever, the Heron has felt the opposite. “Our business has decreased in sales since March. We were anticipating that this would have been our best year ever, but now we’re doing only a third of what business should be,” Puccetti said. Although, she does declare, there is one silver lining: the category at the restaurant that has definitely seen a major boost in sales throughout the pandemic has been indisputably, “beer, wine and alcohol.” 

Like the Heron, my own restaurants have been in sharp decline. During the beginning of COVID-19, when the weather was still cold, I had the slowest quarter ever, since launching my business in 2014. Although fortunately, the numbers for my restaurants did eventually improve once indoor dining was allowed by the spring; and interestingly enough, this summer was our best yet. But by the beginning of fall, once the temperatures outdoors began to drop, our sales plummeted as well. It has gotten to the point now where I may be forced to close down my restaurant for the season in order to at least control my overhead expenses. 

Restaurant Operators’ Outlook for Sales Volume in 6 Months Versus Same Period Previous Year 2019-2020

On the surface, it would appear that the New York Times writers Tracey Tully and Stacey Stowe and those writers who followed, were onto something: the Catskills are indeed booming. But that statement alone seems to be an oversimplification of the whole narrative. Yes, the Catskills are booming; but it’s only booming for certain parts of the region, and for certain sectors of certain industries, and also, only for certain privileged households that can afford to manically buy up real estate, and invest more on remodeling projects, home furnishings, or investing in their children’s future through private education. 

In truth, these market fluctuations in real estate, tourism, local investments and interests, reveal but one portion of the overall populations. Like Justus said, “the Catskills are always back.” It’s been this way since the 1920s through the 1960s, when the Borscht Belt, the epicenter of the Catskills, was a destination for tourism — at the time aptly named the “Jewish Alps” — before it’s decline. The region was once again injected with life throughout the 80s, 90s, 2000s, and the present, by NYC artists, creatives, entrepreneurs, and families like mine, Justus, de Jong, Chen, Puccetti, who all migrated north from the city in the hopes of either escaping a natural disaster, or an economical disaster, or to simply have more room to grow, or perhaps find more opportunities. Of course, there will be more like us, like the recent expats who have left the city during the pandemic, who will continue to inject more life, spirit and economical abundance into this region. But the same could be said for those who do the opposite: People who have come up to the Catskills, only to realize that country life just wasn’t for them. As de Jong succinctly put it at the end of our interview, “They will go back, they always do. They like it here for now, and they’re happy here, but they’re not going to be here forever.” 

The Chaos Behind Sex Offenders Being Relocated to Econo Lodge.

Story Update as of 12/6/2020: Econo Lodge is permenatly closed according to their Google results.

A town is built by different generations, people, ideologies, and dreams. Whether that town is a place to retire, prosper, or another stage in life is up to the individual but at the same time, it can grow to be a home for those who choose to stay. Life will come with several surprises whether the people in town are willing to accept it or not. On October 10th, 2020, the sleepy town of New Paltz awoke to news that a predator moved into town. Not a wild animal predator, but a sex offender, someone who harmed a member of a community for their own pleasure.

Vulnerable groups such as the students at SUNY New Paltz received an email that four Level 3 sex offenders were relocated to Econo Lodge, just 1.5 miles away from campus. A Level 3 sex offender is an individual that is at high risk of repeat offense and is considered a threat to the community. There are concerns about tourists deciding to reside in the hotel as the staff is not legally obligated to disclose the fact that visitors will be sharing the hotel space with these predators. The hotel is advertised on the freeway as a hotel travelers can rest at. The Econo Lodge is down Main Street and is next door to Diamond Car Wash and Blue Moon Cabaret. Tim Rogers, the Mayor of New Paltz, explained that the State of New York approached Econo Lodge with a deal to house sex offenders that had already served their prison sentence. Due to finacial burdens from COVID, Econo Lodge agreed to house the sex offenders for an undecided amount of time until more suitable housing can be found. As this report is being written, there are seven known level 3 sex offenders residing in Econo Lodge.

Econo Lodge on Route 299, New Paltz.

The state did not inform mayor Rogers about the relocation, he instead was notified by the Ulster County Sheriff about the transfer. This situation is not a new experience, according to Chris Farrell from the Ulster County Probation department, 95% of sex offenders get reintegrated into their original communities. What makes this situation unprecedented is the sheer amount of sex offenders being relocated into one residence within the span of one month. Vulnerable members of the community received emails, however, since the sex offenders moved in over the course of several days the emails were scattered throughout the month leaving residents confused about the exact amount. Community members voiced their concern on the New Paltz community facebook group, about how close Econo Lodge is to Blue Moon Cabaret, a gentlemen’s club that is next door to Econo Lodge. Specifically, the worry is directed towards the female workers that must come into work knowing that convicted criminals on parole are close to their workspace.

On Nov 12th, 2020 New Paltz passed a law limiting the number of sex offenders in any hotel or motel. Rogers, however, is not optimistic of the law’s legal standing if it were to be challenged. It’s illegal to deny housing based on a criminal record since the sex offenders already served their sentence. The Fair Housing Act prohibits using sex offender registry information as a reason to deny housing. While there are town laws similar to the one passed in New Paltz, according to Rogers none were formally challenged.

So what can the community do? Rogers said that he is working closely with the sheriff to create a program educating the public on how to reintegrate sex offenders into the community and the constant surveillance Level 3 sex offenders must have while on probation. Rogers spoke with Chris Ferrell from Ulster County Probation Department on the weekly Village of New Paltz livestream where they tried to address any questions or concerns from the public. As of the moment, there are no concrete plans on how to deal with the sudden influx of ex-convicts since the Town was not prepared or notified by the state before they were relocated to Econo Lodge.

Screenshot from Village of New Paltz livestream with Chris Farrell from Ulster County Probation Department

One female student, that wished to remain anonymous, talked about their experience living on campus this fall semester. Before this semester, she had lived on campus for the entirety of their time attending SUNY New Paltz. When she first got the email from the school she felt paranoid and concerned, immediately contacting her mother to bring the pepper spray she left at home. Her schedule changed to mitigate any potential danger of being alone “I tried to avoid leaving early in the morning or going back to my dorm late at night. If I could, I would call a friend just so I had someone on the phone with me if something happened.” The emails were confusing, she recalls getting 3 to 4 emails, and was told by a friend that one of the emails was a duplicate. “New emails didn’t have a total number of sex offenders, and if I wanted to figure that out I would have to go back and check old emails to count.” She compared to current life in New Paltz to life in New York City. “When you walk around New Paltz the streets are dark, when you walk around New York City everything is brightly lit. Both have their dangers but New Paltz felt safe before the state brought (the ex-convicts) into town.”

With less daylight, she had to start getting her meals from Peregrine Dining Hall earlier than before. “Normally I would try avoiding people because of COVID, but now I try getting my meals when a lot of other people are getting them.” COVID also was a cause of some worry, masks made it difficult to identify people. With everyone wearing masks meant to protect others, she felt less secure since she couldn’t recognize the people near her. The unclear schedule of where and when the campus police would patrol led to more paranoia. As the number of sex offenders began to rise she wondered how long were they staying in New Paltz? Why were they here and would they still be here if she decides to come back this spring.

NYS University Police of SUNY New Paltz are tasked with creating a safe campus environment and informing the vulnerable student population. Chief of Police at SUNY New Paltz Mary Ritayik, explained how they were informed about the situation at Econo Lodge and what extra measures the University Police has in place. Similarly, with Mayor Rogers, the school was contacted through the sheriff after the sheriff was contacted by the state. Ritayik wants to assure the campus community that the officers on campus are still maintaining their routine patrols and know what the offenders look like and are aware of where they’re living. When asked about campus security Ritayik explains “we’re still here on campus and we run a 24/7 operation we do routine patrols in vehicles and on foot.” For students worried about walking back to their dorms or to other buildings on campus late at night, the school has the Campus Escort Service (845-257-3338) which provides a walking escort from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m 7 days a week. Previously the escort service was offered with a vehicle option but due to COVID-19 for the safety of the officers and students, there will only be a walking option available for the time being.

One of the emergency phone booths scattered throughout campus

For those who are unaware of the phone boxes that are available throughout campus, there are yellow boxes and black pillars that have these phones that can be used for emergencies. They all have a bright blue lightbulb to indicate where they are. For the black phone pillars, they are also equipped with cameras for extra security. Ritayik wanted students to know that the campus will be safe to return to if they decide to return in spring “our numbers don’t change, we don’t close up 24/7, we still have to remain vigilant. We’re still out and about even when the students go back home for the break.” The UPD can be reached by calling 911 or 2222 on any campus phone, in the case of a campus emergency they can be reached at 845-257-2222 via cellphone.

The world is a scary place to be in right now. COVID-19 is growing by the day. People are seperated from loved ones and now have to worry about their own personal safety. The town of New Paltz is outside the jurisdiction of the University Police and there will be times when we have to leave the comfort and safety of our homes. When that time comes Ritayik offered one last piece of advice “know your surroundings, be self-aware when you’re out in the town, from here to town, and on-campus and back. Have your cellphone handy, but don’t be so engrossed in your cellphone, be self-aware of your surroundings and keep your stuff secure when you’re not there.”

Phone Numbers to call if you are concerned for your safety.

845-257-3338 for Campus Escort Service

911 or 2222 on any campus phone

845-257-2222 via cellphone for campus related emergencies

911 on any device in case of emergency.

Rosendale's Hidden Gem

Shabbat Rusciolelli parks her car behind the small building at the end of Rosendale’s Main Street, walks up the rickety stairs and takes her key out to unlock the back door. Flicking on the lights, she walks inside to reveal racks full of clothing. Rusciolelli, 37, puts down her keys next to one of the three sewing machines inside the store and walks to the front to bring her clearance rack outside. She gives the rest of the store a quick look-over before heading to her desk to put on some music. Nettle and Violet is officially open for the day.

Nettle and Violet’s sale racks are always placed outside to catch people’s attention as they walk by. (Photo/Ally Turk)

Rusciolelli sits across from me in a plush white seat at the front of her store, her faded pink hair separated into two braids on the sides and a bun on the top. She’s rocking a purple cowl neck sweater over an orange top, mustard yellow jogger pants, and black jeweled boots. As we talk she watches the three young men in the store browse through her carefully curated collection. One of them walks out of the changing room in purple flared velvet pants and a silk paisley shirt. “Oh my God” Rusciolelli says. “Wow that is an amazing outfit. I think you should tuck it in, you’ve got to go for the full 70s.” 

Rusciolelli watches the three boys in her store as they show her their outfits. “You guys look so freaking awesome. So rad,” she said to them. (Photo/Ally Turk)

Nettle and Violet, opened by Rusciolelli in 2018, reflects her near 2 decades of fashion experience. The store is stocked with clothing from every decade since the 1900s, ranging from things like jeans to designer dresses. Rusciolelli has been experimenting with fashion since the seventh grade. “That’s when I first experienced how dramatically fashion can change the way you move in the world, when you change how you wear and what you wear,” she said. 

Rusciolelli runs Nettle and Violet by herself. She curates the clothes, opens the store, interacts with the customers, and deals with the books. Most of the time Rusciolelli enjoys doing what she loves, and says it’s hard to complain about any of it. “There are definitely aspects that are more along the lines of, well, this is work. It seems like I don’t prioritize those, which is not surprising,” she said laughing. 

The curating process is one part of the business that’s familiar to Rusciolelli since she’s been handpicking clothing for people for 17 years. She doesn’t get excited for everything vintage; there’s a lot of vintage out there that she will pass up. She searches for timeless designs, bling and some flair. “I want to see everyone expressing themselves a little bit more wildly and joyfully,” she said. “So you'll see a lot of unusual silhouettes. I like things that you can't find just anywhere.”

Rosendale’s Main Street, littered with eccentric shops, interesting people and farm-to-table restaurants, is the perfect place for Nettle and Violet. The character of the shop fits right in with the small Hudson Valley town. “We’re a community that seems rare nowadays. You feel like you truly know and care about your neighbors,” Aleah Speller, Rosendale resident, said. “Experiencing Rosendale through the music, food, theatre and shops is one of the many joys of being a part of it.”

Where it All Began

Rusciolelli’s life wasn’t always immersed in fashion and art. Her story begins in 1984 in Portland, Oregon where she was born at home into a family that was part of The Christ Brotherhood, which she describes as a traveling Christian cult.

“It’s made with patchwork. Each of these pieces of fabric was hand woven and hand dyed. This is a storybook in a garment. Someone put energy and time into each of these fabrics. Then they had a life, were chopped up and someone else put it back together into this and so it’s just like … Just like a human. It has a life of it’s own.” —Shabbat Rusciolelli, owner of Nettle and Violet (Photo/Ally Turk)

Rusciolelli traveled with members of the community, sometimes including her parents, until she was five years old when the community disbanded. Throughout this portion of her life she often found herself sleeping outside and walking miles for food. At the age of five her family lived in Israel for about a year until moving to the States where her father worked as a cabinet maker and her mother worked at a local thrift store. 

Rusciolelli lived a normal life in Minneapolis with her family until their final move to “the high desert middle of nowhere New Mexico,” according to Rusciolelli. Here she realized that fashion didn’t matter as much, and it was on the backburner for a few years. “Anything that I was moving toward fashion wise just fell apart because it's you, the sky and the earth. All of your shit that's external is almost useless. It's like, who are we dressing for? The fucking bighorn sheep?” she exclaimed. 

You Don’t Choose Fashion, Fashion Chooses You

After going to college in New Mexico for music for a few years, Rusciolelli moved to New York City to be there for her sister who was struggling. “I originally showed up for her,” Rusciolelli said. “But it ended up giving me so much.” 

“I love all of these crazy textiles. I hoard this stuff. I won’t sell these I’ll just stare at them,” Rusciolelli said. (Photo/Ally Turk)

Rusciolelli quickly became friends with musicians, and became known for her fashion taste. Soon she was dressing her friends for things like photoshoots, tours or press releases. “I would take them to thrift stores and I would dress them,” she said. “Different designers started to contact me saying ‘I'm looking for this particular kind of sweatpants,’ which I now know is reverse weave Champions sweatpants with a gusseted crotch.”

In 2005 Rusciolelli got pregnant with her twins, quit her job as a waitress, and started buying and selling clothes full time. Once Rusciolelli and her partner at the time saved enough money, they moved upstate to start their family. “So I had my kids and I was a mom and the whole time it's been this push back to like, keep fashion out of my life. It was like ‘stop collecting, you don't have room for this stuff, you don't have an outlet,’” she said. 

“Fashion has just been that thing I’ve never been able to put down.”

— Rusciolelli

Despite not having a shop and being a new mom at 24, Rusciolelli still found herself selling clothes to people, this time out of her home in New Paltz.

A Vision Comes to Life

After about 14 years of dressing people and selling clothes in any way she could, Rusciolelli was finally able to open her shop, named after her children. “Basically all this magical stuff happened around opening the store,” she said. She was able to find the space on Rosendale’s Main Street for the exact price she wanted, until she realized she didn’t have anything she needed to furnish a store. 

Nettle and Violet is decorated with plants, metals and white shelving to give the store a crisp, clean look. (Photo/Ally Turk)

On a Sunday at 3 p.m. Rusciolelli googled the words “yard sale” and found one in Woodstock that had been going on since Friday. She went in with low expectations, realizing everything good should have been sold already. “But I went out to this yard sale and wow, if this lady did not have everything I needed. Like these chairs. These tables. That's a headboard I made my desk from. The light fixtures. I got this lamp,” she said as she pointed to different things in the store. “Everything was white and crispy and beautiful. I literally rented a truck and I freaking bought everything. And she gave me this vision which was just so amazing.”

After the universe dropped all of that into her lap, Rusciolelli lucked out yet again a couple of weeks later at an estate sale. Dennis Potus, one of the “patron saints of Nettle and Violet,” had a wardrobe full of clothing from Europe. Rusciolelli bought it all. “It was these two places that were just there,” she said. “It was just easy and that's how you know you're doing the right thing.” 

Making Work Fun is Good For the Soul

Nettle and Violet wouldn’t be the hot spot it is if it weren’t for Rusciolelli’s enthusiasm to talk to and dress people. “I really love my interactions with people. I love seeing faces. I love watching them try things on,” she said. 

Nettle and Violet was one of the first shops Alison Hoffman discovered when she moved to the area two years ago, and she’s been shopping there ever since. Hoffman says Rusciolelli helped make the transition here easier by making her feel less lonely. “She’s so interested in her customers and she’s so warm,” Hoffman said. “I find her selection fabulous.”

Rusciolelli says people have come in and asked her why she’s located in Rosendale because “it’s not where you make the big bucks.” But Rusciolelli isn’t in it to make an exorbitant amount of money. She loves teaching people who come in about sustainable fashion and vintage clothing. She loves that young people are coming in and buying things at a good price, wearing it for a while, and reselling it on websites like Depop to create more sustainability. “It's such a win win. And that's got to be the way,” she said. “For me, good business cannot be me getting one over on everyone.”

“This is an amazing gown. It’s a full circle skirt. The thing is sick, right?” Rusciolelli says to the customers who have gathered around the dress. “It weighs eight pounds. It’s like an 1800 dollar dress. It’s so rare and so exquisite that someone who deals in mid century couture would easily be able to sell it for 5, but I don’t have access to that kind of market.” (Photo/Ally Turk)

While Rusciolelli is navigating her way through being a first-time business owner she’s also trying to be a positive source in all of her customers’ lives. “Everything should be more freaking fun,” she exclaimed. “And so I want clothes that are fun. And clothes that introduce you to other versions of yourself.” 

Rusciolelli’s story is one of hardship, passion, joy and chance. Her path may have been full of twists and turns, but her current resting place is exactly where she wants to be. “I went from someone who was begging on the streets and eating out of trash cans, to somebody who dresses artists and musicians. It's been hard but the joy of what I’m doing makes everything fine,”  Rusciolelli said. “You know, I feel more than fine. I feel blessed right now. Like, so amazing.” 

How COVID-19 Has Changed Life For Frontline Workers

It’s the first week of hands-on medical training for the United States Air Force and before you can get a hang on things the world shuts down due to COVID-19. Instead of going into lockdown like everyone else, you’re thrusted into the world of emergency healthcare with no experience.

For many people across the world, COVID-19 upended their lives. Of all the categories that people find themselves in, frontline workers have been through it all. This pandemic has changed not only what they do on the clock, but what they do off of it as well. Whether they are law enforcement officers or healthcare workers, there have been a lot of changes to adjust to.

Photo by Cesar Micklick

Cesar Micklick, a frontline healthcare worker for the Air National Guard, stationed in Florida, is one of those who have been greatly affected.Originally joining to put himself through school, Micklick found himself in a situation more difficult than he’s ever been in with the Air Force. According to him, “Working for the guard had felt routine until we did the testing. Once COVID-19 became a thing in the United States, things changed fast.” With testing being scarce initially, nobody had a true idea of how much the virus had spread. Micklick being in Florida dealt with a huge influx of patients once testing became more available.

Micklick’s job at USAF Hospital Langley, in TK Florida, was to test people for COVID-19. To do this, many precautions were taken to ensure the safety of both those testing and those being tested. Every morning, Micklick prepared to wear his hazmat suit that slowly but surely became the most uncomfortable thing he’d ever worn. Regarding the hazmat suits, Micklick said “even though they were just nylon, they were unbelievably hot after a while. It’s annoying to hear people complain about masks considering we were out treating them wearing full body protection that felt like a sauna.”

Like Florida, New York has had a very difficult time trying to stop the spread of the virus. Working in the City’s hospitals can make that incredibly clear. With patients for not only COVID-19 but other illnesses and injuries as well, it's far from uncommon for these frontline workers to be overwhelmed. 

Mike Bravato is currently a security guard at New York Presbyterian in Manhattan. He mainly stays in the psych ward which inevitably puts him in direct contact with patients. This job is a change in career path for him. If you had asked him a year ago what he hoped to be doing right now, he’d tell you he plans to become a police officer. In pursuit of this goal, he received a law enforcement internship over the summer with the Westchester Police Department. This internship opened his eyes to the harsh reality of law enforcement during the pandemic. 

While working for the Westchester PD, Bravato encountered very odd situations from citizens around the county. “When I heard that they were still allowing us to intern, I was excited. Little did I know we would harassed night and day” Bravato mentioned.  For context, this was occurring simultaneously with the height of the COVID-19 pandemic as well as the protests and riots after the death of George Floyd in police custody. Addressing the situation at the time, Bravato said “there was definitely tension everywhere we went. People would criticize us for everything and just pull out their phone to record themselves doing it. This one time, a woman came up to me and another officer screaming about us not wearing masks while she wasn’t wearing one herself. People would do it for fun and post it all over. Meanwhile, we’re just trying to do our job and keep them safe.” 

Enforcing laws became incredibly hard due to the restrictions related to COVID-19. With people wearing masks, it’s harder for officers to make out suspicious activity. One afternoon, he caught somebody with a machete-like blade. According to Bravato, “The only reason me and the other officers caught him was because he was walking funny.” Westchester may not seem dangerous, but Bravato mentioned that there is violent gang activity around. After all the pressure from recent protests and all the bad experiences, Bravado finally decided it was time for a new job.

“Starting this new job was definitely the right decision, but it's still unpleasant” Bravado claims. Bravato’s day starts with him waking up at 4:00 am and leaving for the train station shortly after. From there, he rides an hour to his stop in Manhattan and walks into the hospital for work. “Nobody likes walking in and getting spit on within five minutes but that's every day in the psych ward” Bravato mentioned. Part of his job includes restraining patients who are acting out of control. This includes homeless people as well as those who are just mentally ill. With COVID-19 running rampant through the homeless community, it’s dangerous when they spit at hospital staff.

Bravato made it clear that “This job is definitely different, it has its pros and cons but I’m happier here for sure.” 

The pandemic has definitely made life difficult for almost everybody in the country. Chris Mannion, a coworker in Micklick’s unit, explained how the pandemic affected him. According to Mannion, “During the height of the virus, it felt like it was my entire life. I would wake up, go to work for at least 12 hours, and sometimes I wouldn’t even go home. It wouldn’t have been worth it because I had to go right back.” 

Mannion initially joined the Air Reserves as a career choice. “I didn’t want to go to college right away and my family have all served so I felt I should too” said Mannion. Little did he know, he would be thrown into one of the largest medical catastrophes in recent history. When speaking about the virus, “It's pretty bad; it doesn’t matter who you are. I got it, I’m young, and it felt like nothing I’ve had before. I couldn’t leave my room because of my roommates and I was tired for six straight days.” 

Getting the virus gave Mannion some perspective on what they were fighting. “I already got it so I most likely won't get it again, but I’m definitely more cautious now. I guess I was pretty ignorant in how I was carrying myself before but that's behind me now” Mannion explained. Being in Florida, social restrictions are fairly light in comparison to the rest of the country. This is what Mannion thinks as the reason behind his contraction. “I was pretty irresponsible. I went out to bars on my nights off and I was allowed to, but I should’ve been smarter” he continued. 

Recently, Mannion figured out that he doesn’t want to be in the Air Force Reserves forever. He explained, “After the pandemic and my deployment is over, I’m done with the medical field. I thought I would like it but it's not at all what I thought it would be, especially now. I don’t know what I want to do but I know it isn’t this.”

A Tale of Two Theaters

You know movie theaters are in dire straits when Regal Cinema calls it quits.

According to the Buffalo News, the company is, in its own words, “temporarily suspending operations” in New York state until they’re given the full go ahead to reopen. In other words, Regal won’t be showing any more movies in New York until “the public health...environment allows for the resumption of a full release date.”

With more and more films released for streaming as opposed to in theaters, it feels like the moviegoing experience is dying out. Movies are premiering in the living rooms of families across the country. Still, New Yorkers also have the option to enjoy these new movies in the theater. As of October 23, cinemas outside of New York City can reopen at limited capacity. NCG cinemas in Kingston has reopened according to their website, and is now operating as a CinemaSafe theatre. Story Screen theater in Beacon, New York is operating at limited capacity as of Nov. 6.

We met Michael Burdge who is the co-owner and founder of Story Screen Beacon Theater and Wonderbar. He is a man who truly loves to find the gems hidden within the production of all films and loves sharing and experiencing these films with everyone around him. Facing big chain movie theaters and the Covid-19 epidemic is not an easy task, and yet Burdge and his team have been successful in doing so. To further elaborate on this Burdge had a lot to say about this topic.

An interview with Michael Burdge, Co-owner of the Beacon, New York movie theater Story Screen.

“I was in the military for five years and the biggest thing I took away from that experience is that you need trust amongst the people you are leading and managing. You have to communicate that no matter what the hierarchy is, that at the end of the day we are all in this together and have to work together in order to survive.

We also partnered with the city of Beacon in order to give back to the community that supports us by having free movie screenings wherever we could. We also had a chance to partner with the local Black Lives Matter chapter in Beacon, Beacon4BlackLives and we played two real special documentaries Whose Street and Good Trouble which if you haven’t seen yet please do yourself a favor and check them out. If I can carry my projector to a place that’s willing to let me show a film, trust me I will be there.

Story Screen was born out of the idea of me just wanting to share movies with the community and with their support of just showing up and promoting us like crazy on social media and word of mouth, it allowed me to stay in business and be one of the most successful businesses in Beacon in my opinion of course. I always strive to make it the best experience for everyone in the community because experiencing a movie with strangers that share a common interest is different than just watching it at home. I’m not a very religious guy but movie theaters is my like my place of worship because its where I learn empathy and to learn about other lives and people that walk different versions of life I could never see otherwise. We want our community represented in the films they watch and I think that’s why we work and have a community that loves backing us up.”

Shot of Story Screen with reopening dates and website information. Posted on the Story Screen Instagram.

Ann Citron, cofounder of Rosendale Theatre Collective, told us all about her plans for the Rosendale Theatre, and how the collective has been managing through this tough time.

Rosendale Theatre, taken by Emma Cariello. This beloved spot is located in the village of Rosendale, about 90 miles up from New York City.

Ann Citron, cofounder of Rosendale Theatre Collective. Provided by Citron.

“When we closed on March thirteenth, I remember saying we’ll put on the marquee that we’ll be closed for two weeks. And of course, we know what happened. We’re doing OK, but it’s been a struggle.

Community support is the most important thing to us right now. People just want to see us come back, and we will be back. We’re very positive about that. 

In the meantime we’ve been doing a lot of stuff inside the theater. We’re painting and reconfiguring. We gutted and painted the lobby, and we’re cleaning out tons of stuff. Just useless things we’ve collected over the years. And we do all that with volunteer work. We totally run on volunteer energy. Any time we call for help we get it. It’s really good people helping; everyone’s always masked and we keep all the doors open to get air circulating.  Everyone’s very conscious of COVID.

We’ve also applied for several grants. That money is helping us survive through this time of basically no business. A lot of films aren’t even being released right now, the studios are waiting till next year. That grant money will also help us bring things up to protocol post-COVID. We’re going to be putting a whole new air filtration system in, which is not just important for COVID. Having good ventilation is always important. 

In addition to those grants, we’re also in the middle of our annual auction online. A fundraising campaign is also in the works. That will be arriving by the end of the year.

““When we closed on March thirteenth, I remember saying we’ll put on the marquee that we’ll be closed for two weeks. And of course, we know what happened.”

A couple years down the road, we want to modify the space to maybe be used for live music and dancing, not just movies. We’re also planning on adding a wine and beer license.  I know some people are worried about moviegoers not wanting to come out anymore after this, with everyone relying so heavily on streaming now. But I have faith those people will feel safe once the vaccine comes out, and they’ll be hungry for live entertainment and communal watching. Watching at home just doesn’t compare.”

Ann and the rest of the collective show their appreciation with a handmade sign outside the theater. Taken by Emma Cariello

Statista graphs that in 2018 the United States annual revenue from motion pictures was around 69 billion U.S dollars. Companies such as Regal cinemas, Walt Disney, and Box Office were forced to furlough employees and executives in order to survive and protect capital. These companies surely have faced a massive financial loss, “a situation likely to play out for the next 2–3 years as companies battle to recover.”

While larger movie theater companies can afford to stay closed for an extended period of time, smaller ones need to stay active and adapt in creative ways to stay afloat during these unprecedented times. If you have a local movie theater near you check out what films they are showing and show some support.

Living With Diabetes: What To Eat?

On November, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. While I am not in critical condition, my doctor advised that I follow a stricter diet in order to lower my blood sugar. Little did I know that actually doing that would be so infuriatingly restrictive and difficult. However, there is a silver lining as I learn more about my condition and balance practicality with health. I am a generally lazy person and, while I enjoy cooking, I do not enjoy cooking meals for myself.

Photo taken with SONY a6000 and converted through freeconvert.com

Starting at 10:59, I drink a serving of Naked Juice Blue Machine. Because it doesn’t have added sugar and only contains the juices of actual fruits, it’s an easy way for me to intake some essential vitamins.

Photo taken with SONY a6000 and converted through freeconvert.com

After a meeting, I’m already starving. At 12:45 PM, I make myself a sandwich using Food for Life’s Ezekiel 4:9 bread. “Wait a second,” you say, “isn’t bread bad for diabetics?” Yes and no. This bread is specifically flourless and made from whole grains, making it an excellent alternative. In fact, the bag even has a label indicating a low glycemic index. As a side, I decided to go with some Mediterranean olives - a choice snack that is delicious and health-conscious.

Photo taken with SONY a6000 and converted through freeconvert.com

One of the biggest problems I face is that I am ALWAYS hungry. By 3:30 PM, I was already starting to get peckish. Rather than reaching for a bag of chips, I made myself a plate of baby tomatoes and sliced mozzarella (which was on sale at Tops). After drizzling some blueberry balsamic vinegar on the mozzarella and finishing it all off with some salt and pepper, it was a decent snack to stave off the yearnings of my gaping maw.

Photo taken with SONY a6000 and converted through freeconvert.com

The last meal of the day: dinner. The pièce de résistance. Tofu? Yes, tofu is one of the most beneficial foods for a diabetic. It is high in protein, does not have any of the setbacks of meat, and is honestly one of my favorite foods. Being a Korean American, tofu has always been something my mother made for me for dinner and I am grateful that Tops always has these blocks of soybean in stock.

Living with diabetes is not something that is easy, but it’s not a death sentence either. While it is something I was originally incredibly upset about, in a way, this was also a major wake-up call for me to improve my dietary habits. If you notice, none of these foods were difficult or time-consuming to make. Eating healthy doesn’t mean making a five-star meal every time and it definitely doesn’t mean ordering food all the time either. Balancing a busy schedule and a clean diet may seem daunting at first, but if I, a lazy college student, can do it then you can too.

2020 Election Day

I arrived at the polls at 11:53 a.m. expecting to see lines for miles, but only one person is standing outside. If I hadn't been dreading this day for the past few months, I would have thought that perhaps today wasn't election day. I decided to wait a few minutes, it's around the time for most people to each lunch. A few people walk into the building but a line never builds up. For context, this polling location is located in Marlboro Housing in Gravesend, with most of the residents being elderly.

   Eventually, I struck out a conversation with the person outside the polling building, turns out he's a poll worker. His name is Jeff, and he's been standing outside since the polls opened at 6 a.m. When asked why there wasn't a line he told me I missed it for a few hours. "About 50 plus for the first three to four hours, and then it got a little bit smaller now there's not much of a line with midday but early on there was a lot more." 

Jeff C waiting outside the Marlboro Housing polling station

According to Jeff, most voters arrived wearing masks but the few that didn't were provided masks to enter the polling station. Signs were taped along the railings and walls about the safety precautions placed to protect the voters. The crowd reception was relatively peaceful so Jeff didn't have any problems guiding people into the building. "Everybody's had really good attitudes about waiting if they have to wait. Everybody's just kind of happy to be here and to be able to put in a ballot."

Each polling place is expected to have serves that accommodate voters who may have difficulty communicating. Translators were available for residents to have an easier time representing themselves.

Before I left I got to meet with one of the residents Ron. He's been voting for the past 20 years in the Marlboro community. Ron has been voting longer than most newly registered voters have been alive. For the people hesitating, these are the words he wanted to share. "Everybody, please make your vote count because this is the only time that we're going to have a new president, or we cry for saying you know who up there, but vote today. Make your vote count. It could be history right there and then by your vote, so go out and go right now today."

Ron, long time Marlboro resident.

Every vote matters, some states are won by a thousand, 10 thousand votes. Be that extra vote that tips the scales towards the future you want to live in.

First Time Voting in a Election Year

Every four years, you hear presidential candidates say that the coming election is the most important in our lifetimes. This year it might be true.

Because of the pandemic, a record number of votes are expected to be casted by mail. States like New York, New Jersey sent ballots to everyone for the first time. On top of the mail-in voters, Millennial and Generation Z voters are expected to turn out in record numbers.

Like many Millennial and Gen Z voters, It will be my first time voting in a presidential election year. When I arrived at the polling station at the Haverstraw Rec Center, I was in disbelief that people were still waiting on line to vote.

It was 6:00 pm. I expected lines to die down since I went later on in the day but unfortunately I was wrong.

 Had to wait a half-hour in the cold before I could get inside the polling station.

I made my way to the check-in table and got my ballot. I went to the private dividers in the middle of the rec center to place my vote. Afterwards, I submitted my vote into the machine and I was nervous that it might malfunction but it processed and went through.

“Besides the long line I am glad I voted. I hope my vote will have an impact.” - Noelisa Lopez

Porfirio and Maria Henriquez talking to poll workers.

“It is our first time voting and we believe that our votes matter. We have daughters and grandchildren here in this country and we believe that our decision on the ballot will affect their future for the better.”

I left the polling station feeling great and hopeful for my future and the future of America.

Stand for Something

Rebecca Halladay lives in a small town in Lewis County, New York. She was born and raised here. The area is rural, and consists of a conservative majority. This election is important to Rebecca. She has taken part in presidential elections before, but this one she said, “Feels different.” She presents feelings of anxiousness and motivation as election day nears. She drives 15 minutes to participate in early voting.

Rebecca Halladay walking into the early voting polls in Lowville, New York, on October 29, 2020.

It was five days before election day. The sky was filled with dark grey clouds and snow was in the forecast. Rebecca arrives at the polling site in Lowville, New York early in the afternoon. The line at the site was short and quiet. People stood silently as they waited. Masks on, standing six feet apart. No friendly conversation or greetings. Just blank stares and head nods.

“I choose to do early voting this election because I wanted to avoid crowds as much as possible,” Rebecca said. With the recent COVID-19 outbreaks in Lewis County within the past few weeks, Rebecca wanted to be sure that she was being safe. Luckily, when she arrived there was not much of a line. “I felt very safe. They were taking many precautions, and everyone was social distancing.” Workers at the polls were sure to wash all the used pens and the surfaces.

Rebecca Halladays neighbors front yard sign

Being a Democrat in a largely Republican town comes with its challenges. “I have had it out with many friends and family.” said Rebecca. Trump signs cover the county, while Biden signs remain scarce. There is no doubt that this county will be voting red. Rebecca still knows that her vote means something. She said, “I stand for something, and the best way to push back on those who disagree with me is to exercise my right to vote.” This seems to be a time when Americans are feeling more liberated and vocal than ever. Rebecca’s neighbors have a display of Trump signs in their front yard. The signs say things such as “Honk for Trump” and “The media is the virus.” “I’m pretty tired of hearing people honking their horns all day if I am being honest,” says Rebecca.

Rebecca sticks to a simple “Biden, Harris” sign that sits in her front yard. She will be eagerly waiting for the results along with the rest of the country after election day.

MAKE AMERICA GREAT FOR MEXICANS AGAIN

Frustrated by the mistreatment of Mexicans by the Trump administration, coupled with the uncertainty of the upcoming election, Mexican born, Sullivan County resident, and registered Democrat, Mariana Ridgell decided to take matters into her own hands by volunteering as a pollster in the eleventh hour at her home base in the conservative town of Rockland, New York. Here, she discusses with Nhi Nguyen the issues she faced while working the polls in Livingston Manor, her disappointment in the Latin American communities, Trump’s anti-brown immigrant campaign, and the importance of being vocal, no matter who the president.

View fullsize

Tired, anxious, and nervous, Marianna Ridgell shown here in her apartment in Livingston Manor, New York, is optimistic that Biden will win. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Interview and Photography by Nhi Nguyen

Nhi: Tell me why you decided to become a pollster.

Mariana: I've been following the election, and this year, I didn't get as involved as when Obama was running. When I went to early voting in Monticello, New York, I saw so many people working. It was a little bit last minute, but I asked if they needed poll workers, and they did, so I signed up for it. I thought it was crucial for me to get involved.

Nhi: And what was the experience like?

Mariana: As it turns out, they did need people there. Some of the things that I observed is that a lot of older people have been doing this for many years and they're very dedicated. One of the woman who was working at the polls said she'd been voting in every single election since she was 18. She's 79 now. She's very dedicated. However, she was not up to date with her technology. More and more, elections are going to be technology-oriented. And a lot of people don't know how to use computers. So it was really good that there were some young people there and we were able to help out with the computer setup. I feel that had a couple of other people and I not been there, we would not have been able to open the polls on time.

Nhi: Jesus, that's crazy.

Mariana: They were having a tough time setting up the computing machine, which is not computer-based, but iPad based. We were able to look at the manual, make it work quickly, and opened the polls three minutes late. We were there an hour before the polls were open, running around, setting everything up. There's a lot of work that goes into it. It was an amazing experience to see how much goes into working the polls, even a small poll like this.

Nhi: What was the crowd like?

View fullsize

The Livingston Manor fire station at the end of Main Street was the official polling center for the town of Rockland, New York.

View fullsize

Mariana Ridgell, at the last minute, decided to volunteer as a pollster in Livingston Manor, New York. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Mariana: The crowd was very interesting because the town of Rockland has a lot of conservatives. Some showed up with their MAGA hats. There was one democratic pollster that was asking them not to come in with them.

Nhi: Really? Why can't you come in with your MAGA hat?

Mariana: Well, legally, when you go vote, you cannot wear party affiliation t-shirts or hats. Traditionally, this has changed in the last few years, but you keep your vote secret.

Nhi: So do you think the majority of Rockland residents are conservatives or liberals?

Mariana: I could see that the people that have been living here for a long time were conservative Republicans — the older people and some of the younger people. Many families came in, like residents that have been in the area for many years. But there's also been a shift, especially in Livingston Manor, where there's a lot of people moving in from other regions of New York or the city. And, not to stereotype, but clearly, they're liberals or Democrats.

Nhi: And they're registered up here?

Mariana: Yes, they're registered up here, and they voted here. So I did see a lot of people that I know from the area that have opened businesses in the recent years, that I know are Democrat, coming into the poll. Everyone is very polite, very civilized.

View fullsize

Mariana Ridgell stands in front of the high school in Livingston Manor, New York, a burgeoning village with a population of 1,200 in the Western Catskills that has seen an influx of new and liberal residents in recent years. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Nhi: You know, the media sort of painted this chaotic reality the weeks coming up to the election. I talked to a few people, and they're all freaking out that it's going to be dangerous to vote and things are going to happen. Did you see any of that?

Mariana: No, not at all. Not here. I don't feel that there was ever a threat to that here. However, that is part of the reason why I volunteered. Just because I consider myself to be a person who can manage conflict relatively well. I know that groups were threatening to do that in other areas of the country, to go to the polls and threaten and intimidate people, which is so anti-democratic. But here, no, people were very polite. 

Mariana: Some people who did come in to vote were already kind of on the defensive. We were very polite and they took down their guard quickly. They were assuming that we were not going to be effective and they were frustrated by how the system had changed. Many people complained that they used to vote here, and that it all used to be in the same room, or that they didn't have iPads. People were shocked by the iPads. And a couple of times, I was like, well, it's the future. 

“I know that groups were threatening to do that in other areas of the country, to go to the polls and threaten and intimidate people, which is so anti-democratic.”

Nhi: You're Mexican American. How does it feel to be in this particular election and engaging in it so directly, knowing that this administration has been so opposed to your former country?

Mariana: That's been the biggest thing for me, on many levels. One of the things that I observed is that the news in the US is very insular, so many people are not informed of how other governments work. And I have had the privilege of watching elections in Mexico and the US. I've always been interested in elections since I was very little. And to see the signs of the lack of democracy -- that I can recognize from Mexican elections -- showing up in US elections. 

View fullsize

Adamantly a social smoker, Mariana Ridgell admits ‘liberally’ smoking this week because of how stressful the election has been for her. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Mariana: It's been shocking to see the naiveness in people, not recognizing corruption, or not recognizing when things are rigged both ways, to not easily vote, which have been happening in Mexico for a long time. This election also did touch a nerve because the US and Mexico have always had a very complicated relationship. But we've always been friends. We've still managed. And we, as Mexicans, had never been so openly attacked by the US government on such a personal level. It was important for me to be involved in that sense.

Nhi: Now that you've voted and taken part in the whole election process, how do you see yourself moving forward in the next four years if Trump is reelected?

Mariana: I feel that I need to be more involved. Just moving forward in general, I feel people need to if they want a democracy. It takes work.

Nhi: The race is so tight that even if one candidate wins and the other doesn't, it's a clear indication that this country is split. Knowing that, if Biden does win, do you sense a victory for America, or is there more work to be done?

“We, as Mexicans, had never been so openly attacked by the US government on such a personal level. It was important for me to be involved...”

Mariana: I think a lot of issues came to the surface, a lot of stereotypes towards Mexicans, and they have to be fixed. But I feel that whoever wins, as a Mexican, I've always had a desire to be a good representative of both Mexico and the US. Often when I go to Mexico, I have defended Americans. But not Trump. Absolutely not. I think it's frustrating to see the stereotypes of Mexicans and the hatred growing recently.

Nhi: So for you, it's personal.

Mariana: There's a personal aspect to it. It hurts me to hear these things. I've had really interesting experiences over the last few years, where I had to sit down and say, when Trump is attacking Mexicans, he is attacking me, because I am Mexican. Whereas before, I could separate and be like, he's just talking about these immigrants or that the rhetoric is against these kinds of Mexicans. And I wasn't getting as emotionally involved. Now, I feel like many Mexicans are suffering the consequences of what's happening.

View fullsize

The presidential race is too close for comfort, signaling a truly divided country. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Nhi: Why do you feel that now versus then? What was the shift?

Mariana: The shift was that there was a dialogue defending Mexican immigrants. And there were still possibilities of saying, Mexican immigrants can come in and do the work that a lot of people don't want to do. And there are many people still standing up and defending the economic benefits that Mexican or other immigrants bring to the US, which they do. It's not being spoken about us openly anymore or acknowledged. It is also a little painful to see that my fellow Mexicans who can and have a voice are not speaking as loudly against some of the injustices that are happening.

Nhi: By the way, I believe Trump did get a lot of Latin American voters in Florida. How do you feel about that?

“I’ve always had a desire to be a good representative of both Mexico and the US. Often when I go to Mexico, I have defended Americans.”

Mariana: Well, the thing is, all our experiences are very different. So what happens is that a lot of Spanish speaking voters get put together, but we're quite different. For example, in Miami, Cuban Americans would be very afraid of socialism because of their experience, ideas of communism and socialism. The Venezuelans too. But Mexicans that voted for Trump, I don't know how to justify it. How can they think about the economy or some of the things that Trump is selling but not consider that they're also being attacked on another level? So it's like holding on to one idea and not wanting to see the other situations. 

Nhi: The same thing is happening with Asians too. There's a substantial Vietnamese community in California that are Republican, pro-Trump and precisely because of their past history with communism. Unlike you, I do group all Asians alike. We are all in the same boat. I understand your point of view as to why Cubans may support Trump, but for me, it just doesn't make any sense because his campaign is so anti-immigrant.

View fullsize

Though Mariana Ridgell was born and raised in Mexico City, she spent the better part of her teens and early adult life attending middle and high school in upstate New York and Las Vegas, Nevada. She finds herself often torn by her allegiance to her birth and adopted country. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Mariana: Anti brown immigrant. So yes, in that sense, what you just said does trigger another thing that I've thought about a lot. Traditionally, Latin American countries have, as individuals, we always appreciate each other. Something has broken with this administration, where it's like, why don't you have our back? Like, we were all immigrants. We're all brown immigrants, and he's talking about this particular group of Mexicans. Why don't you defend us? And why are you voting against us? And especially, I think about the 500 kids in cages.

Nhi: Where the parents are missing now…

Mariana: They're missing, and they're from all over Latin America. They're not only Mexican. They're from Ecuador — countries that are in that situation, partly because of our intervention. They had to immigrate to the US because the US had meddled in their governments. Why are Americans of Latin descent not taking responsibility for how their decisions have affected Latin Americans who have had to immigrate to the US? 

“But Mexicans that voted for Trump, I don’t know how to justify it. How can they think about the economy or some of the things that Trump is selling but not consider that they’re also being attacked on another level? ”

Nhi: It comes back to what you're saying about its anti-brown-immigration. And, more succinctly, it's a campaign that supports the Anglo ideas. 

Mariana: But that's also what's happening in the Latin community. What's interesting about the Latin community is that many Cuban immigrants are generations of what used to be rich Cubans.

Nhi: So they identify as white.

View fullsize

Mariana Rigdell is uncertain of what she will do if Biden wins the election. For her, living through four years of Trump has been extremely traumatizing. Photo: Nhi Nguyen

Mariana: They identify as white, and they are racist. They were racist in Cuba. And they are racist here. So sometimes it's about communism, and very often it's about racism. And there is a lot of racism in the Latin community. Mexico is a highly racist country too.

Nhi: Many people who vote for Trump adamantly disagree and say that they're not racist. That they have friends who are Mexican and Black, and they appreciate all races. That they support Trump because he's good for the economy; he does things for Americans; he puts Americans first. You clearly disagree.

Mariana: How can you have ideas (especially a Christian country) where the economy is more important than people's lives? The economy might be healthy, but you do not see it in the people. You do not see it in the white people. You do not see it with Black people. Not a lot of people are doing that well in the US, and this pandemic showed it. 

“The economy might be healthy, but you do not see it in the people. You do not see it in the white people. You do not see it with Black people. Not a lot of people are doing that well in the US, and this pandemic showed it. ”

Nhi: Last question. What's the first thing you're going to do if Biden wins? What about Trump?

Mariana: If Biden wins, I honestly don't know what I'll do. I feel like the trauma of having Trump as president has been deeply ingrained in my identity. If Trump wins, there is a project that I've been working on right now that I think would be more pertinent than ever. It's about trying to find a way to give voice to Mexicans because a lot of what's happening with racism is that people are not willing to look at individual immigrants and get to know them. So I have to find a way to open that up somehow. If Trump wins, I'd be way more outspoken about what's happening at the border. I think people should be outraged at how that's been handled. But even if Biden wins, it doesn't change the fact that we all still have blood on our hands.

The Key Master's Tale

Before

Andy does some required reading

11/2/20- Kinston, NY resident Andy Cariello prepares for his position as key master at the polls, helping to run the ballot machine.

Andy vents about the job ahead of him. “The training was very lax. I’m nervous about getting it wrong, screwing up people’s votes. It feels like a lot of responsibility.” 

During

11/3/20- 5:35 AM. The sun has yet to come up when many Americans get ready to hit the polls.

“I wish I had voted earlier,” one woman laments. “I’m kicking myself now. God, is it freezing…”

A passive aggressive fight broke out as a family of five attempted to cut the line. No punches were thrown, but tensions are high. Clearly everyone is cold and tired.

A pair of the plastic gloves provided to every voter were abandoned on the sidewalk. One can only imagine how much waste these (necessary) precautions make.

After (?)

We won’t be getting any real answers tonight. Votes will continue coming in for the next few days at least. But luckily Andy’s day was successful.

“We had no idea what we were doing at first.,” he laughs. “We’re scrambling to get ready with a line of people out the door. We plug in the ballot machine and nothing. It turned on for a second then died! A tech guy from the board of elections came and fixed it, thank God. He pushed a single button and it came back on.”

“There were tons of first time voters of all ages. We clapped for them when they came out.”

Andy is exhausted, as is the whole country. Here’s hoping for some solid answers soon.

11/4/20- Gatsby relaxes with the paper. He’s not worried about the results.

Uncharacteristic Long Lines at Polling Station

On Tuesday, November 3, Election Day finally arrived and I was ready to vote for the first time in my life. I didn’t go alone as my dad, Joe Porpora, came with me to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong.

Joe Porpora before heading to vote

When we arrived at our polling place, the Bullville Fire Department, we were stunned at how many people had shown up already. We got to the firehouse at 6:30 a.m. and there were cars lined up down the street. “I’ve never seen this many people this early,” said Joe Porpora. Voter turnout nationwide in this election was expected to be larger than in previous years. Usually when Porpora goes this early on election day, he waits about ten minutes before he votes. Today was a different story.

Joe Porpora walking to polling station

We waited in line and stood six feet away from people as instructed. Most people had their masks on but there were a few who waited until they entered the building to do so.

Nick Porpora waiting in line with a mask on

As everyone stood in almost freezing weather, a nice thing occurred. A polling worker came out and pointed towards a woman in line who was using a cane. The polling worker waved the woman in the building and had her skip the lines to get out of the cold. It was a wonderful moment amidst all the ugliness of the election.

Woman being let into building

After waiting more than a hour, we finally got inside the firehouse. Shaking off the cold, we made our way to the check-in table and got our ballots. I went into a private area divided by a curtain and placed my vote. Afterwards, I went to submit my vote into the machine and I had trouble. I was confused and a polling worker came over to help me. I told her it was my first time and she responded, “Do you care if I embarrass you and tell everyone.” I said no and she announced to everyone in the firehouse, “Hey, we have a first-time voter!” A lot of people clapped and as I stood flustered, I gave a simple thumbs up.

Inside of polling station

As we exited the building, we noticed that the line hadn’t gotten any shorter compared to when we first came.

Joe Porpora after voting

Nov. 3rd..4 1/2..5th

Election day

My local polling location in Rosendale, NY.

As I pulled up to my voting location, I was pleasantly surprised to see not to many cars in the parking lot. Early in the morning I was told otherwise by my mom, who said it was packed at 6:30 am.

Rosendale, NY, my neighbors proudly supporting blue.

Pleasantly surprised to see my old neighbors supporting blue, as I drove up to my parents house.

The line to our civic duties.

As as was waiting in line, I was hoping i’d run into one of my old friends, but I did not. Everyone seemed to be social distancing quite well.

Contemplation

As I was in line, I noticed this older woman sitting on the bench, she seemed very stressed out and exhausted. I wish I was able to bring my camera with me to photograph; but to stay low-key, it made more sense to use my Iphone.

In color wide shot of my local community center and today polling location

Rosendale, Fans Plaza, Eerily quite on election day

I was testing out my new drone and happened to fly it over the plaza down our hill, when I began to notice how little people had been out today. Rosendale historically is a progressive town, maybe it was because of COVID-19? Or perhaps because it was election day.

Seen on Route 9 on my way towards Poughkeepsie, NY.

Presidential candidate, Joe Biden speaking after the polls closed on Nov. 3rd

At this moment it seemed as if we were going to loose the election. We lost Texas, Pennsylvania, and Florida; all were predicted to go blue this year. As my anxiety was peaking, I began to drink with my neighbors.

The Aftermath of election night

The aftermath of Nov 3rd and now 4th

Three Trips, One Vote

Marc Thurston, 21, walking to the polls on Nov. 3 to vote in his first presidential election.

Nov. 3 was a day full of anxiety and excitement for Thurston, as well as the rest of the country. Thurston, an International Relations student at SUNY New Paltz, walked the mile between his house and his polling place, enjoying the weather and looking forward to casting his ballot.

Thurston pulls the handle to his polling place.

Thurston arrived at the New Paltz Reformed Church to find nothing out of the ordinary. There were no signs stating the church was a polling place, and no people around to direct him anywhere. “There’s nothing here, where do I go now?” Thurston asked himself after checking all four doors outside of the church.

Thurston checks the maps app on his phone along with the official polling location mail he received.

Thurston circled the building while a poll watcher drove into the parking lot. After flagging the poll watcher down he asked if he was in the wrong place. The poll watcher was just as confused as Thurston, and gave Thurston the address of the New Paltz Middle School, telling him he can go there to vote instead.

Thurston walks up to the New Paltz Middle School.

Thurston drove the few minutes from his house to the middle school, still excited to vote. Once arriving at the middle school Thurston experienced citizens outside with flyers, explaining some of the local laws that people will encounter on the ballot. After listening to the people outside, he walked inside, sanitized his hands, put on his gloves and was ready to vote.

Thurston walking into the New Paltz Middle School to cast his ballot.

Once arriving inside, Thurston was quickly turned away and told that he couldn't vote anywhere except his official polling location. “But the poll watcher directed me here,” Thurston told them. A poll worker called the board of elections, and let him speak to someone who confirmed that his polling location at the church was open. “They were really rude,” Thurston said as he made the trek back to the church.

Thurston celebrates once he finally finds his polling location.

Once Thurston was back at the church he realized that his polling location was at the education center of the church just down the street, even though the official address he was given was for the church itself. “I feel a little stupid but I also think there should be signs on the church,” Thurston said. After spending almost two hours trying to find his polling location Thurston was finally able to cast his vote.

Thurston and his girlfriend, Rebecca Kavaler, at his house watching live coverage of the election.

The Maine Reason

Canvassers in just across Maine state lines in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

“47 minutes,” bragged one voter, pointing to the back of a long line of voters where Mainers came to cast their ballots. “That’s how long I waited in this line.” His cheeks were rosy and his teeth were chattering after braving the North’s November cold for almost an hour. He wore this allocation of time as a badge of honor— Mainers are like that. Voters-to-be dressed in their winter parkas and donned their warmest scarves to steward the fate of this country’s democratic republic through this next election. The line outside of the Kittery Community Center in Southern Maine stretched for over a mile.

Voters waiting in line outside the Kittery Community Center in Kittery, Maine.

Maine is a state that is typically forgotten during major presidential elections. Candidates from either party seldom stop for rallies in this state of only 1.4 million; their four Electoral College votes are rather predictable and deemed unimportant. Maine, alongside Nebraska, is one of the only two states in the nation that split their Electoral College votes. Maine awards two of its four electoral votes to the statewide winner, but also allocates an electoral vote to the popular vote winner in each of its two congressional districts.

Where Mainer’s votes really count is when it comes to deciding Senate elections. This year, incumbent Susan Collins’ (ME-R) defends her seat in the senate. Even before the Democrats had nominated a candidate to take her on, money from out-of-state began to flow into her opponent’s coffers after Collins voted to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court in 2018. Challenger Sarah Gideon (ME-D) stepped forward. More than $100 million dollars has been spent on this election alone, making this the costliest election Maine has ever seen.

A pro-Gideon canvasser outside the voting center in Kittery, Maine.

This election was deemed one of the most important on a national scale. For the senate to be flipped to a Democrat majority, dethroning Collins and replacing her with Gideon is of paramount priority. Being one of the last truly moderate Republicans in Congress, Collins is the last of a dying breed. But this puts her in a compromising position because wave elections tend to flush moderates out to sea. Collins stresses her centrist credentials, often reminding Mainers that an annual study from Georgetown University has ranked her as the Senate’s most bipartisan member for seven consecutive years. Gideon argues that this reputation is outdated—that Collins “has lost her way”, is “putting someone else’s interests above ours”, and has become a rubber-stamp for the right.

A canvasser outside the voting center in Kittery, Maine beating her drum and calling for an obscure 3rd party vote.

To say that tensions are running high in the state would be an understatement. The Kittery Trading Post, Maine’s largest firearm retailer, has almost entirely cleaned their shelves. “We’ve sold thousands of guns in the last few months,” says employee Mark Gorman. “Look around you. You’ve never seen our gun racks and cases this empty. And ammunition? Forget about it.” Firearm companies cant manufacture guns fast enough to keep up with the demand. The only ammunition left on the shelves is turkey-load shotgun shells. But people aren’t worried about turkey this year.

Depleted stock of ammunition at the Kittery Trading Post in Maine.

“Everyone has collectively decided they need their guns,” says Gorman. “But they can’t seem to decide on what they need them for. The Democrats are buying guns because they think a Biden win will trigger white supremacist attacks. The Republicans are buying guns because they think a Trump win will trigger similar George Floyd riff-raff.” Nobody yet knows who to point their fingers at— or the barrels of their guns— but the fear of civil unrest following the election has gripped Maine tightly by the throat.

Sparse gun racks at the Kittery Trading Post in Maine.

Ithaca Protests Against Police Continue - The Presidential Election Will Likely Not Change That Either Way

This past Sunday, November 1st, in Ithaca NY a small crowd protesting police brutality gathered on the Commons downtown. Many in this group have come every Sunday since the murder of George Floyd back in late May. Now they come to protest brutality much closer to home.

Outside the IPD Station

On October 14th, 2020, Massia White-Saunders, a black man, was arrested by police when he got into an altercation with a Trump supporter. According to White-Saunders and other eyewitnesses, including a friend who recorded the interaction, the other man pulled a knife and threatened White-Saunders. Cops were called to deal with the situation and were recorded forcing White-Saunders into a car, without reading his Miranda rights or saying what he was being arrested for. The Trump supporter jeered as the arrest happened, telling White-Saunders to “Go die.”

The arrest sparked outrage in the local community and protests were held outside the Ithaca Police (IPD) Station for the next couple of days. A total of 8 protesters were arrested in the following days, either for vandalism or resisting arrest but no evidence indicates that any of the protestors committed either crime. On October 16th, police pepper sprayed a group of protestors, threw a 15-year-old girl to the ground and dragged a 36-year-old man into the police station while protestors linked arms to resist the onslaught.

Though the IPD is no stranger to extrajudicial violence and arresting people under false pretenses these recent events have reminded many that their liberal town still has a lot of racial inequality to face. Black people face a poverty rate almost twice as high as the white poverty rate and most live in relatively segregated areas in the South and Northwest parts of downtown Ithaca. 

From talking to people at the protest this past Sunday it does not seem like most believe that any of these problems will change substantially if Joe Biden is elected, but many believe that the police brutality may increase under another 4 years of Donald Trump. For the overwhelmingly left-leaning young people of Ithaca, it seems that a vote for Biden is nothing more than a vote against Trump.

Barred Owls Nesting — A Gift of 2020

"While we were in lockdown, the owls made our small world into a sanctuary."

Mother and child reunion: The baby fell out of the tree but apparently they’re made to do that. @mfwords

When 2020 hit with COVID-19, we, like most people, tried to avoid contact with other people. But that spring something else happened: Nature came to our doorstep. An old silver maple along the driveway has a large hole in it, and in fact each year the tree looks a little sicker, and we’ve considered having it taken down. In winter we had Dave Gates, a local tree surgeon, give it a look, and he figured it was “good for another year at least.”

Mother Barred owl looks cute, but not if you’re a chipmunk. @mfwords

Then something happened: We started hearing voices. All April, every evening, we heard owls hooting. They were loud. And in the mornings, pre-dawn, at like 4 a.m., they’d wake us up with their very noisy conversations. It seemed like they were right outside our bedroom window. And the truth is, they were. We just couldn’t figure out where. And since owls are relatively dormant in the daytime, and incredibly reclusive, silent fliers, it was tough to pin down exactly where they were.

Mother owl, returning to the nest. @mfwords

Then one evening, while hauling the garbage cans up the driveway from the curb, I caught site of large bird in flight, and it landed directly on the silver maple. It eyed me, then climbed into the large hole on the trunk, about 70 feet up. I was stunned, and also delighted. Now we had an idea where they were living.

Mother Barred, out early to hunt. @mfwords

This also made tracking the owl easier. Right: One owl, not two. So far, we’d only seen one, but we knew there was another one around, because we heard the pair in conversation. We could stand outside the house, either very early in the morning or just at dusk, and wait patiently and quietly. My wife, Karla, took to camping outside with a book every evening, just watching the tree for activity.

Mmmm, fresh dead chipmunk for dinner! @mfwords

What Karla soon realized was that the mother owl was bringing food to the nest, and not eating it herself. Karla also heard conversation between the two owls just before the mother owl would emerge from somewhere in the woods with prey in her claws. One night she actually witnessed the father owl bring “dinner” to the mother on an adjacent branch for a hand-off. Takeout! And the mouse was likely still warm, no less.

The babies emerge! @mfwords

Naturally we presumed what was up. There had to be hatchlings in that nest, and after a few weeks we finally began to see them poke their heads, in very wobbly fashion, out of the hole. In the morning they were especially loud, too, calling, in crackly voices nothing like the calming “who” of their parents. We don’t speak owl, but we figured they were screaming “We’re hungry!,” sinice babies, regardless of species, are demanding.

Little brother and littler sister. @mfwords

Eventually, though we really didn’t understand how this would work, it was time for the baby owls to fledge. One afternoon one of the babies clambered out of the nest. It looked very insecure and imbalanced, but apparently that’s just part of the deal with nestlings.

The awkward clamber up! @mfwords

The small owl ascended away from the nest and we were fairly sure it was doomed to fall. Which, of course, it was.

You think you’ve had a tough 2020?! @mfwords

Owls are more rugged than you’d guess. And even though this sad little bird couldn’t fly yet, it knew intuitively that it had to get back up in the air. Why? Because if it stayed on the ground, raccoons could easily attack and kill it, and even in the nest, we’d constantly witnessed crows harassing the area. This owl-let was in danger.

Nap time please. @mfwords

Once the baby owl made it to a branch on a tree on the opposite side of the yard from the nest, which it did by literally clawing its way up the side of the tree and then trudging across, it was clearly fried. We watched it close its eyes and fall asleep, though we stayed awake, wondering if the crows, calling back and forth overhead, would attack.

Comfort food? @mfwords

Eventually, it began to rain, and the fledgling was getting doused. Now, it was very awake and not very happy (well, I presume), but then the mother owl swooped in with a fresh kill, tore it to shreds, and began feeding the baby owl, beak to beak. It was adorable and, yes, simultaneously totally gross.

Round 2? @mfwords

The first tiny owl was out of the nest, and we’d spend the next several nights worried about it, whether it was going to be okay, and whether its parents (which mate for life, and can birth over 20 owls throughout their nearly two-decade-long lives) would be able to keep it safe. But then, in the midst of all that, we witnessed the second owl do exactly the same routine. It fledged the nest, fell out of the tree, walked and then climbed to another tree, and the two tiny owls called back and forth to each other through the foliage, with the mother owl swooping food to both over the course of a few weeks. In that time, finally, we witnessed the young owls make their first flights, shakily of course. But, you know, better than humans. And now, every once in a while, we still hear the owls calling in the woods. 2020? At least it gave us the owls.

Who needs a nest?

Tiny owls, together again.